An Immigrant Gives Thanks to the Nation

I'm really really smitten by the handouts here in Britain.
It makes no sense for folk to live elsewhere.
It's really really funny how you give us so much money
It's as if you British people just don't care

That your pensioners are freezing and, without no rhyme or reason,
All us immigrants gets wads and wads of dough.
Big houses from the state! Wow, it's absolutely great!
Loadsamoney in a never-ending flow!

And at this point, if I may, I'll just take the time to say
Why your people have to die to keep us rich.
Cos if anyone says 'Hey!', you attack them right away
And denounce them as a racist dog or bitch.

So I thank all PC wankers that we rake it in like bankers
While the poor and needy scrape to make end meet.
Kiss your heritage goodbye: I'll still look you in the eye.
Life on benefits in Britain can't be beat.

Are you Richard Littlejohn in disguise?

Don but not forgotten?

There'll be readers who see the above piece as a cry for the annihilation (or, at least, the repatriation) of every non-white-faced person in Britain.

Other readers might see it as suggestion that if some of the absurdities of our benefits system were to be corrected, we might be able to make Britain a comfortable place to live for everybody - indigenous and immigrant alike.

But, as ever in the world of critiquing, it's so often the author that's critiqued rather than his work, isn't it?

Give it time, I'm sure someone will want to play with you eventually.

Quote: David Bussell @ October 6 2010, 12:06 PM BST

Give it time, I'm sure someone will want to play with you eventually.

View original

Critique the work David, if you wish.

Please do not use this forum to address offensive remarks to me personally.

Ming - This is well written and scans well. Like most satire it is not laugh out loud funny, but laughs weren't your intention I assume.

I think this is written with skill.
It has a clear message, nice rythym & the lyrics scan very well.

It's quite well written but it's based on the assumption that immigrants get massive amounts of state handouts which is not entirely based on fact but on massive porkies which are spread by the likes of Littlejohn, Migrationwatch, the BNP, etc, etc.

Do you genuinely think that an immigrant on benefits "rakes it in like bankers"?

I'm sure that the asylum seekers in the immigration centres (or "detention centres" as they should more correctly be called) and even those who've been given council accomodation feel just like Sir Fred Goodwin et al.

Ming you've written some decent stuff.

And the rhymes here are well constructed, but it seems to lack any actual punches.

Would you like to borrow my time machine the Grumbleweeds or Doc Cotton would love this.

N.B. Dave could be hints of a Mato?

Quote: Tony Cowards @ October 6 2010, 12:36 PM BST

It's quite well written but it's based on the assumption that immigrants get massive amounts of state handouts which is not entirely based on fact but on massive porkies which are spread by the likes of Littlejohn, Migrationwatch, the BNP, etc, etc.

Do you genuinely think that an immigrant on benefits "rakes it in like bankers"?

I'm sure that the asylum seekers in the immigration centres (or "detention centres" as they should more correctly be called) and even those who've been given council accomodation feel just like Sir Fred Goodwin et al.

View original

I dunno the Windsors seem to be doing ok.

As does Lord Siralan.

I believe everyone who has so far contributed to this thread knows and understands full well that not everything that is written for comedic purposes necessarily represents the views of the author.

Many comedy writers see something in the newspaper or on TV and immediately get an idea based upon how a particular type of person might react to the news item.

Some writers have even been known to write colossally-successful and universally respected sitcoms based upon the incessant rants of a racist bigot.

It's all theatre, gentlemen.

It's all theatre.

Quote: Ming the Mirthless @ October 6 2010, 12:10 PM BST

Critique the work David, if you wish.

Please do not use this forum to address offensive remarks to me personally.

View original

No, ta. When you originally posted this the apostrophes were presented as HTML code, which leads me to believe you cut and pasted it from elsewhere.

Quote: David Bussell @ October 6 2010, 1:14 PM BST

No, ta. When you originally posted this the apostrophes were presented as HTML code, which leads me to believe you cut and pasted it from elsewhere.

View original

So?

As I've explained already on another day in another thread, most of the creative works I post here are first written in Microsoft Word before being copied and pasted into this forum.

I really don't see what you're getting at.

Dodgy content aside, it's not actually funny. Is it supposed to be?

Quote: Ming the Mirthless @ October 6 2010, 1:18 PM BST

So?

As I've explained already on another day in another thread, most of the creative works I post here are first written in Microsoft Word before being copied and pasted into this forum.

I really don't see what you're getting at.

View original

Funny, I don't get that when I cut and paste from Word...