I've entered this is the skit comp; I thought I'd add it here to grab a few thoughts while it's still bordering on topical
INT. PUB - EVENING
A GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE IN A PUB, THEY'RE ALL WEARING A 'FUNNY.COM' NAME-TAG.
GARY:
It's great that we've finally had a meet-up; you all seem like such nice people on the forum.
NELLIE:
We are, we're a friendly bunch.
GARY:
I'm feeling a bit shy though; everybody seems to be getting on so well, like they're old friends.
NELLIE:
Well most of us met at September's meet-up. It was a great laugh, we had free wine, played charades and such; it was a cracking night.
GARY:
That sounds great. Have you got any pictures?
A SILENCE DESCENDS OVER THE GATHERING.
NELLIE (WHISPERING):
There are pictures, but we're not allowed to speak of them. You need to have a word with Big Phil.
GARY:
You're not allowed to talk about them?
NELLIE:
Phil doesn't like outsiders looking at the pics.
GARY:
That's crazy, I'm sure he'd let me take a look at them if I asked nicely.
NELLIE:
Don't do it Gary. Phil's not to be trifled with.
GARY (PLAYING ALONG):
I think I'll risk it. Where is he?
NELLIE POINTS WITH HER EYES AT PHIL
GARY:
OK, thanks.
GARY WALKS OVER TO PHIL
GARY:
Hi Phil, I'm Gary from the forum.
PHIL:
OK.
GARY:
Well nice to meet you Phil. I hear on the grapevine that you have a few pics of the last meet, any chance I could take a look at them?
PHIL:
Who spoke of the pics?
GARY:
Oh someone, I've been mingling.
PHIL:
Were you at the last meet?
GARY:
I couldn't make it. It's a long way from Birmingham and my mother was a bit ill.
PHIL:
Save your sob stories for the X-factor, Gary. That shit don't wash with me.
GARY:
Oh right, sorry. Why can't I have a look at the pictures?
PHIL:
You're not worthy. You're a non-attendee.
PHIL SPITS ON THE GROUND
GARY:
This is crazy, I'm friends with Matt and Darren on Facebook, and they posted a few pics.
PHIL:
They've done what?
PHIL STORMS OVER TO DARREN AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE.
GARY TAKES A PICTURE.