FIRST GOAL BERT.
A BOOKMAKERS INT. DAY
A busy bookmakers. And a man walks up to the queue, waiting to reach the counter.
He finally approaches the counter.
COUNTER CLERK:Hiya love. What’s yours?
MAN: Hello. I’d like to place a football bet please.
COUNTER CLERK: OK what bet is it?
The man produces a piece of paper. He unfolds it and
Reads it out.
MAN: It’s for the first goal scored. England versus Italy.
COUNTER CLERK: Alright then. Have you filled in a form?
MAN: I’m not really sure how.
COUNTER CLERK: That’s OK love I can help with that. How much are you betting?
MAN: Twenty quid.
COUNTER CLERK: OK… and who’ve you got down as the goal scorer?
MAN: Bert.
COUNTER CLERK: Excuse me?
MAN: Bert. It’s my dog.
COUNTER CLERK: Your dog?
MAN: That’s right. Twenty quid, first goal scored England versus Italy. Bert the dog.
COUNTER CLERK: Are you taking the p**s?
MAN: What do you mean?
COUNTER CLERK: You want to bet on your dog scoring the first goal?
MAN:England versus Italy.
COUNTER CLERK: Your dog?
MAN: That’s right… twenty quid.
COUNTER CLERK: You can’t do that!
MAN: Why not?
COUNTER CLERK: Because… You can’t.
MAN: But this is a bookies and I want to make a bet.
COUNTER CLERK: I know it’s a bookies love. But your dog’s not going to score the first goal.
The man slaps twenty pounds on the counter.
MAN: Want a bet! Twenty pounds.
COUNTER CLERK: Listen I’m not taking that bet.
MAN: Go on.
COUNTER CLERK: Are you off your bloody head?
MAN: No why?
The counter clerk sighs and then leans forward towards the man.
COUNTER CLERK: Listen love. Your dog… is never going to play for England.
And it’s NEVER…going to score a goal for England. OK?
The man looks a little upset. He folds the piece of paper in two and puts it in his pocket.
The counter clerk leans back and stares at him.
The man sighs and then reaches into his other pocket. He pulls out a second piece of paper, unfolds it. And looks at the clerk.
MAN: Twenty quid…England 3 Italy 0
The counter clerk sits starring at the man. She slides the Twenty pounds on the counter towards her.
She produces a betting slip and begins to write, still looking at the man.
COUNTER CLERK:Twenty pounds…First goal scored… Bert!
