A former skit comp entry - I wondered if it might be a keeper, and if so whether any tweaks are called for?
MARS: Oi Earth! How's tricks?
EARTH: (DISTRACTED) Mars. In opposition already. Has it really been 780 days?
MARS: I make it 759. You should get your rotation checked.
EARTH: I've more on my mind
MARS: Life getting you down?
EARTH: Bloody biosphere, can't do a thing with it.
MARS: Not your homeostasis on the blink?
EARTH: I had all this carbon buried away where it couldn't do any harm, took my eye off it for a moment, and these chimps come along and dig it all up again.
MARS: Give up on it mate. Look at me, first sign of intelligent life - and wipe out. I mean who needs twenty foot lobsters digging canals all over the place? Hang on here comes Venus. Phwoar she's hot!
EARTH: About 460 degrees Celsius.
VENUS: Hello boys. Oh that's a nasty rash you have there! You're absolutely covered in concrete.
EARTH: Yes, I'm infested with sentient beings. I think I'm running a fever.
MARS: That's good, that's is. It's your defences fighting the infection.
VENUS: Besides, I've always said blue-green doesn't suit you. Lose the biosphere and you and me we'd make a lovely couple.
JUPITER: (DISTANT, JOVIAL) I say! Hello there.
MARS: Oh lord it's Jupiter.
VENUS: Just no-one mention the spot - he's really self-conscious about it.
END.
