Diagnosis. Page 3

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 3:24 PM BST

Thanks. Do you not think that once you've seen one though, you've lost part of the comedy by realising it's a 'social diagnosis' instead of medical?

I have just come up with about 5 different afflictions that I could go on with, I just don't knwo if it would get old really really fast.

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Well now you've gone and made me think about it more I suppose that is a danger. I think it could be done if you were clever with your choices of diagnosis, kept away from the overly obvious. You could always try to widen it to include other non medical conditions and not just social ones.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 3:14 PM BST

That's because it doesn't have an ending! Supply me with one!

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GP: We've got to...

(MRS NESBIT LEANS IN)

GP: BURN ALL OF YOUR CATS!

MRS NESBIT: Even ... Prince Meowington?

GP: ESPECIALLY Prince Meowington.

MRS NESBIT NODS, WIPES AWAY A TEAR, EXITS.

THE GP LOOKS TO HIS LEFT. WE SEE A GIANT MOUSE, STOOD UPRIGHT, CASUALLY MUNCHING ON A TRIANGLE OF CHEESE.

GP: Did I do good?

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 3:30 PM BST

I think a second sketch definitely wouldn't be as funny. There wouldn't be so much of a reveal.

You've got an illness.

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But what's the cure?

A punch to the face. To be administered 3 times a day, for 2 weeks.

Hmm in a sexy Don Draper stylee?

Nice.

D:<

I like the concept, but think the execution needs a bit more work.

I think it would be funnier if the doctor had more of an agenda against cats. Perhaps his parents doted upon him religiously as a child until the day they bought a cute new kitten. His rage against cats has built up ever since then. A sort of Harold Shipman for cats.

More conflict from the cat woman would be funnier too. Conflict's always funny.

Well done on writing your first sketch. They get better from now on in.

Thanks for the input Ben. It's only a first draft- from thought to posting within 10 minutes so it definitely needs more work!

I'm at odds whether to add in something about the doc's ulterior motives, because that really changes the whole point of the sketch. The idea was that being a 'cat lady' was a social illness akin to cancer and serious medical illness.

I might try it both ways. I can always rewrite.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 7:36 PM BST

I'm at odds whether to add in something about the doc's ulterior motives, because that really changes the whole point of the sketch. The idea was that being a 'cat lady' was a social illness akin to cancer and serious medical illness.

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Well I guess burning the cats is some kind of chemotherapy in that it removes the problem, but something still clashes for me. Maybe the Doctor's attitude.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 7:36 PM BST

I might try it both ways.

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Oh, you're one of those girls...

Quote: Ben @ September 14 2010, 7:41 PM BST

Well I guess burning the cats is some kind of chemotherapy in that it removes the problem, but something still clashes for me. Maybe the Doctor's attitude.

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I absolutely get you. I might do a few versions and see if I can get one of my more talented friends to act the GP for me, so I can see how it pans out.

Oh, you're one of those girls...

*sigh*

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 8:01 PM BST

I absolutely get you. I might do a few versions and see if I can get one of my more talented friends to act the GP for me, so I can see how it pans out.

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Enter it in the Yobi Laughs competition and win thousands of pounds.

That's not the one that folded and robbed Bussell of £10,000 is it?

No! It's the won Bussell, Stott and I won $10,000 on.

Awesome- good going you lot

Ben actually invented Yobi and paid the money out of his own pocket so the others would be his friends.

Loser.