Diagnosis.

Right you evil bastards. This is the first sketch I've ever written in my pathtic life, so don't be as mean as you were to the beardy men. Also, I haven't got an ending, so I need help with an ending. Also, I have no idea how to lay it out, so deal with my terrible formatting.

INT- GP's office.

GP: I'm afraid it's bad news, Ms Nesbit.

MRS: Is.. is it the cancer again?

GP: No, I'm afraid it's more serious than that...
Given the symptoms you've mentioned:
Depression, confusions, being able to smell ammonia..
And your personal profile:
Female late 50s, unmarried..

I'm afraid, you've got a chronic case of... Cat Lady.

Ms: Gasps. What does this mean? Am I going to die?

GP: It is quite common for Cat Ladies at your stage to make a full
recovery. You're lucky we caught it early. At the moment you've only
got 8...

Ms: ...13

GP: 13 cats. The worst case I ever say was a woman with 752, all eating and
shitting within a 12 foot bedsit. They found them nesting in her
ribcage.

Ms: crying Oh my. What Can I do?

GP: It's a very simple procedure, Ms Nesbit. In order for you to make a
full recovery..

Ms: Yes?

GP: We've got to...

Ms leans in

BURN ALL OF YOUR CATS.

Ms: Even ... Prince Meowington?

GP: ESPECIALLY Prince Meiowington.

Haha! I like it. Not sure it even needs another ending, this works just fine. For a first sketch it's bloody good indeed. Formatting wise - needs ironing out in a few places but it's all good and perfectly readable.

It's funny, and as Leevil says, perhaps doesn't even need more of an ending, unless you want a bigger end punch.

I always feel like things should end with a good old fashioned punch line. If it doesn't need it, then fair enough though. I might have a go filming this in the next few weeks or so, if I can find someone to be my GP.

I'd actually quite like to have a go at animating it. But don't hold me to that as I'm incredibly lazy.

How about the Doctor gives her a wheelie bin?

Nice. Like the BURN ALL OF YOUR CATS line.

I was wondering maybe instead of jumping from 8 to 9 cats, you could go 8 to 13?

Quote: Chappers @ September 14 2010, 2:41 PM BST

How about the Doctor gives her a wheelie bin?

View original

I did think that you know. Or the Doctor pulls his mask of and he's wheelie bin lady. I think it's a bit old now though.

Quote: Chappers @ September 14 2010, 2:41 PM BST

How about the Doctor gives her a wheelie bin?

View original

He should just push a wheelie bin into frame and not say anything.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 2:42 PM BST

I did think that you know. Or the Doctor pulls his mask of and he's wheelie bin lady. I think it's a bit old now though.

View original

A bit old (C)hat?

Quote: john lucas 101 @ September 14 2010, 2:41 PM BST

Nice. Like the BURN ALL OF YOUR CATS line.

I was wondering maybe instead of jumping from 8 to 9 cats, you could go 8 to 13?

View original

Yeah I was unsure on that but I think you've made the right call. I shall change that. 13 is a nice number.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 14 2010, 2:39 PM BST

I always feel like things should end with a good old fashioned punch line.

View original

Perhaps a previously unseen Meowington could pop his head out of her pocket in shock at the Doctors last line. You know how to train cats for performance, right?

Or 8 out of 10 cats.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ September 14 2010, 2:43 PM BST

Perhaps a previously unseen Meowington could pop his head out of her pocket in shcok at the Doctors last line. You know how to train cats for performance, right?

View original

OH I'VE GOT IT.

Nat - I popped over here to check out your first ever sketch - nice one! I LOVE cat lady jokes anyway, so this was right up my street. You could even have a whole bunch of diagnosis sketches... "boring Old Man", "grumpy teenager" etc.