Wild West sketch

(one of my sons ideas)
[THE SCENE IS A STEREOTYPE SPIT 'N SAWDUST WILD WEST BAR(PIANO PLAYER/CARD GAMES/BARTENDER ETC).THE MUSIC IS CLASSIC/CHEESY SPAG WESTERN.]

ENTER 'STAN' THROUGH SWING DOORS.EVERYONE FREEZES AND GOES QUIET.STAN SCANS THE ROOM.
'ABE' IS DRINKING AT THE BAR.HE STANDS AND TURNS SLOWLY TO FACE STAN

STAN:This town aint big enough for the both of us

ABE NODS SLOWLY.BOTH MEN PUT THEIR HANDS ON THEIR HOLSTERS.THERE'S A TENSE STANDOFF BEFORE BOTH MEN DRAW AND FIRE.THE SCENE GOES MISTY.IT CLEARS TO REVEAL EVERYONE IS DEAD EXCEPT FOR STAN,ABE AND THE TREMBLING BARMAN.

ABE:Now it is.What are you drinking?

I like that, short and sweet, your son should consider becoming a member. Well done.

Thanks.He has me in stitches.I'll ask if he wants to join-there isnt an age limit here is there?

Well done to your son. Nice sketch. Very economical.

Nice 'n' short. A good use of an old cliche.

Really nice and well done to your son.

Haha! That is good!

I think they're maybe an age limit in the fact that sometimes things are discussed that may not be suitable for some users...

Rule 10 of the message board rules is Members under 16 years of age are encouraged to NOT use our message board. If they do do so, should be accompanied by a responsible adult.

Hope that helps!

Quote: niteowl @ November 16, 2007, 10:18 PM

Thanks.He has me in stitches.I'll ask if he wants to join-there isnt an age limit here is there?

View original

Yeah, as Ellie says, no limit - just do remember that we're often ffffilthy.

OK, OK, OK - now this just isn't fair. I like the sketch, it was a nice idea and it came off but what would happen if it was a real stinker? I mean, who in all fairness is going to tear into a kids creativity, right? Next time just say it was from an elderly relative because I think that besides taking them out from under the stairs once a year with the Christmas decorations, they're pretty well fair game.

[quote name="EllieJP" post="67319" date="November 20, 2007,

Rule 10 of the message board rules is Members under 16 years of age are encouraged to NOT use our message board. If they do do so, should be accompanied by a responsible adult.

Hope that helps!
[/quote]
Oh dear, so now I have to go and find a responsible adult...

Critique wise though, my son(who's 15) has grown up around creative people and he's confident enough to accept critism so dont worry about that. He understands humour is subjective and he wont stop creating just coz of negative reaction. This is a boy who at primary school had an end of year,inter-class football match and,not being the best at football,went onto the pitch dressed as a women and calling himself Barbara. His team won,due to the other team laughing so much at his efforts to play in high heels several sizes too big!

Kids near me are doing drugs at a younger age than your son, let him write, Heeee's good. He maybe able to teach his mum a thing or two, but not at football, he's waaaaaaaay off there!

Very good!

I had to read it twice but that's me though.

Maybe there should be an upper age limit.