Dear Deidre

Dear Deidre
I am in a funny position and need advice. A lovely couple (will and ffyon) live next door to me. I bumped into ffyon as I was leaving my house on my way to blackpool for a weekend with the lads, she told me how desperate she is to have a baby but is doubting this will ever happen having had several miscarriages, I had no idea what advice to offer so I told her to stay strong and made my way to Blackpool. I Started on the beer as soon as we were there downed 3 pints of carling then went onto the shots and eventually after several hours drinking I staggered my way to my hotel. I Seen Will my neighbour as he pulled up just infront of me in a mercedes I think or mayb it was a jag or possibly an alpharomeo and was looking cosy with another GUY who looked between 20 - 40 years of age oriental id say mayb african but also looked eastern european and they shared the same room on my floor which was the 4th or the 3rd no wait it was the second. Should I tell his Wife?

Deidre says
i can see this is placing u in a very awkward position as u Believe your neighbour maybe having a gay relationship but u seem to be very lacking in any specific detail so maybe u had to much to drink and it was a case of mistaken identity I mean your letter does sound extremely hague

Views welcome good / bad

Its ok. I liked the Dear Deidre format, could be good for radio.
It needs a tidy up as I had to read it twice to understand the joke. I think you need more info so that when the punch comes people are like ahhhhhhhhh! Not Eh?
You also need an "e" on your maybe. I don't care my lovely, I can't spell for shit but there is a fella on here who will beat the bones off you.

Thx C and have updated as it was semi improvised initially still find it awkward to get the punch in as the correct point and am sure it can be improved its a simple joke but no doubt it can be said much better

PS- I may have correcting my missing e but to be honest never have understood people who have issues with spelling mistakes me thinks they need to defo concetrate on there own life....perhaps even getting one more thanmy correct english

Thanks

Good idea and the punch would be good for a one line joke.

But as a long piece yoou give the punch away to early and theres no twist so its quite linear

jazz it up?and it could be ace

Quote: sootyj @ September 5 2010, 4:47 PM BST

Good idea and the punch would be good for a one line joke.

View original

That's exactly what I thought. "My friend was telling me something about his boss having an affair with his male assistant or something.. I didn't pay much attention, t was all a little too Hague." Obviously better written though. you get the idea.

And sorry 40winks, but while you might not mind your spelling, it can make your posts difficult to read and your response to Charlie was very arrogant. Maybe not the best attitude to take when asking for advice

cheers soot and nat.
Think I did kinda mess this up a little and I was never sure if people would see the joke was aiming towards william hague or not before the punchline, also it did drag on for longer tahn I hoped.

Nat - my response was nei aimed at charley as she was more for warning me that somebody may pick me up on this Obviously if my spelling makes it harder to read or understand the joke then I have no issue. But if I had to decide between some1 pointing out that a E was missing from my Mayb been petit, or me been arrogant for not caring am sticking with petit.

No offence intended but really thiis mayB my biggest pet hate.

Thanks again for feedback

Kind Regards

Unfortunately you've joined a forum with a collective pet hate of poor use of the English language. It's in the board rules and everything.

And I think you mean petty. (See what I did there? )

Quote: another40winks @ September 5 2010, 4:38 PM BST

Thx C and have updated as it was semi improvised initially still find it awkward to get the punch in as the correct point and am sure it can be improved its a simple joke but no doubt it can be said much better

PS- I may have correcting my missing e but to be honest never have understood people who have issues with spelling mistakes me thinks they need to defo concetrate on there own life....perhaps even getting one more thanmy correct english

Thanks

View original

I'm pretty majorly dyslexic. But I've had to learn that not taking enough effort on checking, is the quickest route to the reject bin.

Quote: sootyj @ September 5 2010, 9:50 PM BST

I'm pretty majorly dicklexic.

View original

My written English is terrible & it would be hypocritical of me to pull someone up on it.

Anyhoo what does it matter. If you are saying the word it matters not. I don't care. But some on here really do my lovely.

u know what despite it been my pet h8 I accept defeat. Not on principle but I can't take u all down.

ps. comedy gold nat. Well I say gold mayb silver hang on no u failed a drugs test its disqualification

Rgds all

All that & Aaron never showed. Typical fooking fella.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ September 5 2010, 9:48 PM BST

And I think you mean petty. (See what I did there? )

View original

'Petty' is just a corruption of petit, isn't it? Or did I just miss the joke?