British Comedy Guide

How To Write A Novel Page 5

Quote: Tim Azure @ September 2 2010, 1:58 PM BST

What's this obsession with a 50,000 word novel? No one ever talks about a 50,000 word screenplay or so on.

Couldn't disagree more.
Screenplay readers are obsessed with page count.

But definitley write long, then cut.
Removing ten thousand words is easy.
Adding 10k is a nightmare.

Quote: Marc P @ September 2 2010, 2:06 PM BST

It's probably the shortest amount of words for a novel. Under that and it is a novella.

I've a Novella - I got a prize for it.

Was it a vella big prize?

I haven't read all the posts.
But Isn't writing a novel just..
A sprinkle of inspiration, a dash of stardust
& a good old dollop of elbow grease?

Talking of books, I'm just in receipt of Shantaram....its 900 pages!!

Once upon a time there lived a wet vagina.
They were so wet they were called names at school like "Fishy" & "sopping fish" & "Wet as f**koff fish".
One day the Vagina grew up & thought "Hey who are they calling sopping fish. I am a vagina, not an animal. Even female animals have vaginas. Why do I take this crap when it is my arse that shits it??????
The vagina murdered the arse & everyone lived an A sexual life.
The End.

Quote: Chappers @ September 2 2010, 1:51 PM BST

NaNoWriMo is coming up soon - in November as usual. It's really good practise for a 50,000 word novel.

It's a load of tripe.

It has nothing to do with writing a novel.

I managed about 363 words last time I tried it.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ September 5 2010, 3:35 AM BST

It's a load of tripe.

It has nothing to do with writing a novel.

I managed about 363 words last time I tried it.

All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy....

Quote: Leevil @ September 5 2010, 3:40 AM BST

All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Frankie a dull boy....

Is the moral to this story that all work & no play makes Frankie a dull boy?
If so how did you get to that scenario. I am www.confused.com

Quote: Frankie Rage @ September 5 2010, 3:35 AM BST

It's a load of tripe.

It has nothing to do with writing a novel.

I managed about 363 words last time I tried it.

Well yeah, if you don't bother doing it you do tend not to end up with a novel. :)

How is your novel coming along, zooo? It's about good looking vampires, isn't it?

I wish.

Quote: zooo @ September 5 2010, 10:33 AM BST

Well yeah, if you don't bother doing it you do tend not to end up with a novel. :)

50,000 words in themselves are not a novel.

Tripe, I say!

:)

P.S. What does Aaron think? He'd say it's tripe too if he agreed with me (and he usually does..) Whistling nnocently

Quote: Frankie Rage @ September 5 2010, 7:30 PM BST

50,000 words in themselves are not a novel.

Tripe, I say!

:)

P.S. What does Aaron think? He'd say it's tripe too if he agreed with me (and he usually does..) Whistling nnocently

:D

It's a short novel/first draft/fun experiment.
FUN. Do you remember that? ;)

Quote: zooo @ September 5 2010, 12:20 PM BST

I wish.

Maybe one side effect of the Chernobyl thing could have been making lots and lots of vampires? It could be a Dusk TIll Dawn style twist two and a half pages from the end.

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