Press Conference

INT. A PRESS CONFERENCE.

A Mouse ( MARTIN ) and a Deer ( TIM ) are giving a press conference.

PRESS 1:
Just how much does it mean to you to get these new rights for animals in your position?

TIM:
Well as you know, both myself and Martin here have been very active in the campaign to get this ruling for a long time, so, obviously we're very happy. Now all animals who have been forced to carry out tasks of various sorts under spells for fairy tale princesses will be paid the minimum wage and receive other support where needed. So yeah we're very happy.

PRESS 2:
What about you Martin? Obviously you did help a poor young girl escape from being a slave in her own home and she went on to marry a very charming prince and be very happy. Mixed feeling perhaps?

MARTIN:
Not at all. I'm only asking for recognition of my services. I'm the one who got turned into a horse but I do wish her all the happiness in the world.

TIM:
You see. They always end up living in luxury with some chisel face while we are left behind to do the chores.

PRESS 1:
But In some cases, much like yours, Tim, the princess in question was only singing. Do you think it's fair that you should receive compensation for what is, pretty much, having a dance near washing up and laundry?

TIM:
Singing is a form of enchantment. It may look like fun, but in the end, she whistled and we worked.

PRESS 2:
What do you say to comments made by supporters of the princesses that the spells involved weren't evil and that they were the good ones.

TIM:
It's not about good or evil it's about getting what you're entitled to.

PRESS 2:
So you have no qualms with animals that were sidekicks to evil queens and witches also benefitting from this new law?

TIM:
If anything It's more important for them. A lot of them are left totally without an owner or even shelter as they are most times destroyed in a dramatic final encounter.

MARTIN:
Although I would like to add that we don't agree with some of the more extreme views that this should extend to equipment like buckets and mops. We feel that they would be employed for that purpose regardless.

TIM:
We view the instilling magic into items such as these is more of a quality of life option for the consumer.

PRESS 1:
So what's next for you?

MARTIN:
Well I can't speak for Tim, but I'm off to try and get these horseshoes taken off, my feet are killing me.

END.

Doesn't work for me I'm afraid. Maybe I'm not up with my fairy tales but a mouse and a deer aren't animals I'd immediately associate with them - didn't really get the singing/whistling enchantment part either. Of course it may well be my ignorance preventing me getting the gag.

Bo.

I thought it was very funny. Probably because I instantly got the Disney references.

(Mouse from Cinderella and the deer from Snow white.)

Really liked the line '...but in the end, she whistled and we worked'

Quote: Bohannon @ August 29 2010, 2:40 AM BST

Maybe I'm not up with my fairy tales but a mouse and a deer aren't animals I'd immediately associate with them

View original

Yup.

I thought it was a good idea, although I'd prefer to see it in a different setup. Like two animals talking about the princess whilst she's out of the room.

Thanks for the feedback all. You've raised all the points and problems that I had writing it. I thought it was a strong idea and originally was going to do it as an appeal film for a sanctuary for enchanted animals. Then I toyed with a pub setting and the two animals would be moaning about their days. Then I considered them passing each other on the way to work and stopping for a chat.

I like Leevil's idea of them talking whilst she's out of the room too. I think I'll try another setting, but I find it hard to bury the exposition, so that's why I went for the press conf setting.

Back to the drawing board I go.