This is now live.
Thanks for watching, and I hope you like.
X-Wing : Brown Squadron (now filmed!)
It LOOKS great, but will have to LISTEN tomorrow because I FEEL tired.
Thanks Darth Leevil.
Right! I've re-uploaded with a changed last punchline. Any better?
That looked really, really good, man! I liked the nude guy too - his acting was good.
I wasn't that keen on the original script and it still seems very much like banter rather than a sketch. As a result, it did seem to meander. If it was 2 minutes then it might be more effective.
Not sure if the dialogue needs another sound mix. It sounded a little flat to me.
Really good worked for me way better than the scripts on their own.
Maybe a little remark about homo obiwan earlier on?
Cheers Ben! I know what you mean with the banter side of it. I was hoping the loose story would keep the viewer interested but perhaps not enough happens.
I'm messing with a cut where I lose the "Did you see Vader switched off his targeting computer?". It strips out 20 seconds so fingers crossed it ups the pace.
Thanks SootyJ. Homo Obiwan was an idea I came up with this morning after I was unhappy with the first ending so unfortunately I couldn't work it in earlier.
The new 20 second shorter version. Still feels a bit draggy towards the end but I can't really lose any of those lines as far as I can see.
Watched the short version that seemed long enough. Was quite funny. On a technical note that Tie figther is just a normal Tie not Vaders which looks like this:
Worth a mention coz Starwars geeks might loose their minds you know what their like. Any way good work mate!
Cheers Gav. Just uploading the final edit now and then I'm done!
Yeah they didn't have Vader's Tie at the 3D model shop so he got downgraded to this one... which was free!
Quote: ShoePie @ August 21 2010, 2:11 PM BSTCheers Gav. Just uploading the final edit now and then I'm done!
Yeah they didn't have Vader's Tie at the 3D model shop so he got downgraded to this one... which was free!
Ahhhhhh reet. Ok 
Quote: Gavin @ August 21 2010, 2:31 PM BSTAhhhhhh reet. Ok
Definitely! For the rest of the day at least!
Final version is now live! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-ylArsOO8M
Thanks for your help everyone. Crits welcomed!!
NIce work Shoepie. Only watched the latest version but the last line from Obi Wan was very good. All in all I thought that was wicked. Only picky bit, is that Ackbar was an Admiral not a general, unless you were hinting at the fact that at the time of the sketch he had not passed his Admiral exams.
Still, very funny sketch. Banter and all.
Thanks a lot scratchyr, glad you enjoyed it.
Quote: scratchyr @ August 21 2010, 6:45 PM BSTOnly picky bit, is that Ackbar was an Admiral not a general, unless you were hinting at the fact that at the time of the sketch he had not passed his Admiral exams.
Haha, I didn't know that, I thought he was a general. Oh well, that's a good cover story for me to use if anyone else mentions it!
Looks great, and the banterish nature of the dialogue fits the concept. Well done.
Quote: ShoePie @ August 21 2010, 8:51 PM BSTThanks a lot scratchyr, glad you enjoyed it.
Haha, I didn't know that, I thought he was a general. Oh well, that's a good cover story for me to use if anyone else mentions it!
Nicely saved 
On a techy side Mr Pie, the chroma keying job is pretty damn good. Are you going to be doing any more with it?