British Comedy Guide

Funniest thing I've overheard in ages.

I was walking through town the other day, when two grown women - yes, not chavs, but GROWN, supposedly learned and mature women - walked past and one asked the other "What part of a chicken are nuggets?"

Ha!

I was going to turn around and say "The testicles," but I didn't.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ December 24 2009, 11:04 AM GMT

I was walking through town the other day, when two grown women - yes, not chavs, but GROWN, supposedly learned and mature women - walked past and one asked the other "What part of a chicken are nuggets?"

Was it Mrs McIntyre or Mrs Manford?

Quote: Tim Walker @ December 24 2009, 11:44 AM GMT

Was it Mrs McIntyre or Mrs Manford?

Angry

I was just searching for an old thread and came across this one, and it reminded me of a funny exchange I heard when I was on a plane, flying over to Ireland, where I was DJing in a club, years ago:

Air Hostess: Would you like coffee or orange juice?

Passenger: Orange juice, please

Air Hostess: Orange juice pie?

Passenger: Er no, orange juice, please.

I just couldn't believe that the Hostess could've seriously believed that the bloke had thought, 'Hmm, now let's see, coffee or orange juice? Well, I'm in the mood for orange juice, but I'd quite like some pastry with it.' Also, unless she was new to the job, she must've heard thousands of people say the words "Orange juice, please" to her, so you'd have expected her brain to tell her that she'd just misheard him. There wasn't even a hint of a smile on her face, so she'd obviously ruled out the possibility of the pie request being a joke.

:D
That is bizarre.

Not a funny story but I was getting changed at the swimming pool tonight and a woman in the cubicle next to me said to her toddler daughter "You don't love Mummy because you got your socks wet". The little girl sniffled "I do love you! Do you love me?". Her Mum didn't reply.

I've never hit a female in my life but I felt like chinning the bitch.

Hassling her Mum like that.

Not overheard but read, is this ok?

Pack of Morrison's goat cheese. "...with the fresh taste of goat."

and new Government campaign

"Wake upto rape!"

As an alternative to an alarm clock?

Quote: Lee Henman @ August 14 2010, 2:53 AM BST

Not a funny story but I was getting changed at the swimming pool tonight and a woman in the cubicle next to me said to her toddler daughter "You don't love Mummy because you got your socks wet". The little girl sniffled "I do love you! Do you love me?". Her Mum didn't reply.

I've never hit a female in my life but I felt like chinning the bitch.

Hassling her Mum like that.

Ha!!
What a cow, though.

I was checking in at Dublin airport and was asked did I want a window seat. I replied that I did and in all seriousness, she said...'it'll be next to the window, you know?'

Quote: Lee Henman @ August 14 2010, 2:53 AM BST

Not a funny story but I was getting changed at the swimming pool tonight and a woman in the cubicle next to me said to her toddler daughter "You don't love Mummy because you got your socks wet". The little girl sniffled "I do love you! Do you love me?". Her Mum didn't reply.

I've never hit a female in my life but I felt like chinning the bitch.

Hassling her Mum like that.

What are you doing listening to people in the women's changing room?

On the train to Southend There was a scumbag family of crack heads being generally unpleasant, but I did hear the two following shouted sentences:

"I've got to change my period pad" and
"ohmygod, I've got shit on my shoe!"

What terrible sin have you commited to be sent to Southend?

It's where my fella's parents live.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ August 14 2010, 12:02 PM BST

On the train to Southend There was a scumbag family of crack heads being generally unpleasant, but I did hear the two following shouted sentences:

"I've got to change my period pad"

Oh my gawd!

I know. I was shocked.

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