Knighting Sketch

Constructive Criticism appreciated.

Three men are kneeling in a line. A COMPERE announces.

COMPERE
And now, for Her Majesty the Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland!

The QUEEN walks majestically down the stairs, gracefully holding a sword. She approaches the FIRST MAN. She does the traditional gestures with the sword.

QUEEN
I now knight you a Member of the Order of the British Empire.

FIRST MAN
Thank you, ma'am.

The QUEEN approaches the SECOND MAN.

QUEEN
I now knight you a Member of the Order of the British Empire.

SECOND MAN
Thank you, ma'am.

The QUEEN approaches the THIRD MAN.

QUEEN
I now knight you an Officer of the-

The THIRD MAN falls over, lying on the floor while holding his foot. He shows desperate signs of pain.

THIRD MAN
AARRRRGGGGHH! IT HURTS! OH MY GOODITIGOODITIGOODITIGOODNESS! OH, F***!

The THIRD MAN suddenly looks around. The QUEEN is in distress. The THIRD MAN immediately stops and resumes his position.

THIRD MAN
Thank you, Ma'am.

QUEEN (to self)
Bloody footballers.

Very nice, but you can dump the first 2 it works well with one.

Very Russ Abbott in a good way.

Agreed. No need for the triplet, just have the footballer enter the palace and get straight to the punchline.

Agree with S&M, would make a great animation.

More please!

I don't agree with S&M&A. I would keep the first two

Works well with 'the rule of three'. The sketch would be snappy enough keeping all three in. I usually think shorter is better, but the rule of three is a tried and tested device.
e.g.
"My wife was only unfaithful to me three times. Once with the milkman, once with the postman, and once with the Arsenal football team."

In that case though, you could leave out the middle one and (I think) improve the gag.