British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 2,498

Quote: Nat Wicks @ July 30 2010, 2:50 PM BST

I am suffering from crippling fear. I've just realised I've only got 25 days until my first standup gig and should probably be at least a little prepared by now. OH MY.

I think you might need to breathe in, and then possibly out, quite a lot.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ July 30 2010, 2:50 PM BST

I am suffering from crippling fear. I've just realised I've only got 25 days until my first standup gig and should probably be at least a little prepared by now. OH MY.

Just know that dying on your arse is really not that bad so long as you're prepared to laugh it off. You'll be stronger for it next time.

*waits for Griff to post picture of Nietzsche*

Quote: john lucas 101 @ July 30 2010, 3:04 PM BST

I think you might need to breathe in, and then possibly out, quite a lot.

I can't do that. I'm busy trying to choke myself on my own fist.

I have a lot of work to do this weekend *nods*.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ July 30 2010, 3:19 PM BST

I can't do that. I'm busy trying to choke myself on my own fist.

I have a lot of work to do this weekend *nods*.

Ah, the old fist choking. Yes, well, I'd give that a miss.

I think what you need are the three P's: Prepare, Prepare, Prepare.

Plans for weekend:

Sat:
9am Go to the market.
11am WRITE ALL DAY.
7pm Go see Richard Herring.
11pm Have a minor emotional stroke because I'll never be as good as Richard Herring.

Sun:
WRITE. ALL. DAY.
10pm Pack for London.

Quote: john lucas 101 @ July 30 2010, 3:21 PM BST

I think what you need are the three P's: Prepare, Prepare, Piss yourself.

Quote: zooo @ July 30 2010, 1:03 PM BST

I hate to say I told you so...

(I don't, really.)

You got further than me though! I did an ankle.

I am planning on doing the more sensitive lady areas later. Yes, I am insane.

Quote: john lucas 101 @ July 30 2010, 1:47 PM BST

A former girlfriend of mine had a singular hair growing out of her left breast. That was bad enough.

Tweezer!

Personally I employ a litter of kittens to gently scratch away my unwanted genital topiary.

Do you pay them in kitty biscuits?

Quote: EllieJP @ July 30 2010, 3:42 PM BST

Do you pay them in kitty biscuits?

Are you kidding, with their union?!

Chip's just been inspecting hs new bathroom. It's got shiny silver plugs. Cool

I've been told I'm going to see the Moscow State Circus tommorow night.

Against your will?

Never been to a circus. Probably not the first choice for a night out. Anyway, I'm sure they'll spot me in the crowd and train me up to be one of those trapezze type people.

Or maybe you could get out of one of those small clowns cars?

I've been to the circus and hated it. And I hate them in general, along with carnivals and fair grounds. [/miserable]

But have fun, I'm sure it'll be one of those fancy ones and not some noncey clown in a smelly tent I went to.

Share this page