British Comedy Guide

The shortest time span you have had at a Job. Page 4

Quote: Oldrocker @ July 29 2010, 12:12 AM BST

Barclays Bank - 12 years.

:D

Teachers Pet!!

Quote: sootyj @ July 28 2010, 11:21 PM BST

She was probably putting her false teeth in the wrong end.

Laughing out loud What a vision.

Quote: Loopey @ July 29 2010, 12:16 PM BST

Sick Sick Yeah. I tried to look dignified as I marched out but I couldn't really pull it off with squelchy noises and blood spurting out of my boots.

A cousin of mine once worked in a factory production line that involved cricking chicken's necks. All day long a guy to his left would keep passing him chickens and he would swing them around his head like a football rattle until they were dead. I don't think he ever really got over that job, the poor dead bastard.

I was told I had the job at the printing firm, only to be called up a few hours later and told I was too old?! I was 24 for f**ks sake! And why didn't they stop when they asked my D.O.B at the beginning of the whole freakin' process. Nobs.

Quote: Loopey @ July 29 2010, 11:15 AM BST

Ten days in a chicken packing factory where a container of slimy chicken necks landed on me and slithered right down into my regulation wellies.

5 days in a printing office where the boss was far too friendly. On the day I left he went too far so I pushed him over.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Leevil @ July 29 2010, 12:34 PM BST

I was told I had the job at the printing firm, only to be called up a few hours later and told I was too old?! I was 24 for f**ks sake! And why didn't they stop when they asked my D.O.B at the beginning of the whole freakin' process. Nobs.

That's against the law. Take them to tribunal and make some money for a change.

Quote: David Bussell @ July 29 2010, 12:33 PM BST

A cousin of mine once worked in a factory production line that involved cricking chicken's necks. All day long a guy to his left would keep passing him chickens and he would swing them around his head like a football rattle until they were dead. I don't think he ever really got over that job, the poor dead bastard.

My dad works on a chicken farm & has to snap necks. A far cry from his manager position in an office. But hey ho that's what moving to Norfolk does to you.
He said everytime he picks up a chicken all the others pop their head up and go "ohhhhhhh". He hates doing it.

Quote: David Bussell @ July 29 2010, 12:36 PM BST

That's against the law. Take them to tribunal

Hmm, would I still have a case after two years?

Quote: David Bussell @ July 29 2010, 12:36 PM BST

and make some money for a change.

Eh?

Quote: Leevil @ July 29 2010, 12:39 PM BST

Hmm, would I still have a case after two years?

Would you like to know on a no win no fee basis?

Quote: Leevil @ July 29 2010, 12:39 PM BST

Eh?

You're always going on about how wretchedly poor you are and how you can't afford to upgrade from a PS1 because all your dole money goes on bongs.

Quote: David Bussell @ July 29 2010, 12:43 PM BST

Would you like to know on a no win no fee basis?

You're always going on about how wretchedly poor you are and how you can't afford to upgrade from a PS1 because all your dole money goes on bongs.

:D

I'm not on the dole! And, yes.

I'm just very frugal with the money. Whenever I have the money to buy a PS3 is when I'm not that bothered about buying one. All my games consoles are gathering dust at the moment.

I once got a days work stuffing envelopes when I was temping. I'd finished by 3, so they sent me home.

I did 5 months as an early morning cleaner at Sainsbury's to supplement my income and six months later when times got tough again I went back. The second time it was for just two weeks primarily because I couldn't get to work cos someone had nicked me bike from outside the store. I was actually worse off than when I started.

Quote: zooo @ July 29 2010, 11:21 AM BST

You cheeky bugger!

:P

I used to work with someone who once had a Saturday job as a chicken de-beaker.

Quote: Ben @ July 29 2010, 8:44 PM BST

I used to work with someone who once had a Saturday job as a chicken de-beaker.

I remember once, as part of my job helping out in Animal By-products, collecting a big bucket of chicken entrails which had been left outside in the summer heat. Imagine the smelliest thing in the world, and amplify it. I find it's rare that I get repulsed these days, compared with things like that.

I found a dead, pus filled hedgehog once. That smelt rather bad.

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