British Comedy Guide

The shortest time span you have had at a Job. Page 2

Quote: sootyj @ July 28 2010, 11:21 PM BST

She was probably putting her false teeth in the wrong end.

Ewwwww!

12 months.

I still couldn't make a decent big Mac though, that's why I ended up on Milkshake refilling, & mopping up duties.

Barclays Bank - 12 years.

:D

When I was a teen I worked in a menswear shop called "Concept Man". I think I was there for a few weeks before the slimey arsehole manager who looked a lot like Chris Barrie (flary nostrils ahoy) bawled me out for leaving a Monster Munch packet in the staff kitchen. I told him to f**k off and kicked his computer off his desk.

Hah. Was so worth the P45.

I had a paper round for about 5 weeks, when I was 14/15. I only got it because a mate of mine also had a round at the shop, and I didn't even need the money, because I'd just inherited 4 Grand from my Great Auntie Rene. I remember the chain coming off my bike on my very first day, and the shop-owner having to come and pick me up and help me finish my round.

One day.

It was in the ice skate department of a steel factory. I am not prepared to say what went wrong!

Quote: catskillz @ July 29 2010, 2:41 AM BST

I had a paper round for about 5 weeks, when I was 14/15. I only got it because a mate of mine also had a round at the shop, and I didn't even need the money, because I'd just inherited 4 Grand from my Great Auntie Rene. I remember the chain coming off my bike on my very first day, and the shop-owner having to come and pick me up and help me finish my round.

What a nice guy.

I think I was offered a job selling newspaper subscriptions door 2 door. And I couldn't find where I had to go so I never turned up.

Besides they might have been communists or something.

Two days in the fruit and veg section of a supermarket. I quit.

4 days as a door to door canvasser, selling charity subscriptions to the underprivaleged for commission. Mainly tricking poor people and old ladies into signing up for Direct Debits using sneaky sales tactics. I was damn good at it, but after 4 days I felt Satan's warm grip on my soul growing ever tighter. I stopped turning up after day 4. Damn you, moral fortitude.

My shortest job lasted about 2 seconds. The squirts tend to be caught-short lived.

Apart from jobs when I was a kid I have only ever had 3 jobs

1st - 3 years
2nd - 3 years
Current - 21 years

Quote: Will Cam @ July 29 2010, 10:29 AM BST

Apart from jobs when I was a kid I have only ever had 3 jobs

1st - 3 years
2nd - 3 years
Current - 21 years

Cheater McCheaterson

It's your early jobs we want to know about.

Quote: sootyj @ July 29 2010, 10:41 AM BST

Cheater McCheaterson

It's your early jobs we want to know about.

Ah! Well.....

Aged 13 - bout a year - me and a mate gardening and odd jobs for an old man who had 3 houses. Using petrol mowers unsupervised. 2 hours after school and 5 hours on a Saturday (all arranged through the youth employment office, no H&S or police checks then!)

14 - Worked bout a year on a milk round Sat and Sun mornings

15 - Summer holidays on the deck chairs in a seaside town

I have had no experience of very short term jobs.

I don't even know what I am in this thread. I shall take my obviously employable arse and foxtrot oscar before someone else tells me to Wave

Ten days in a chicken packing factory where a container of slimy chicken necks landed on me and slithered right down into my regulation wellies.

5 days in a printing office where the boss was far too friendly. On the day I left he went too far so I pushed him over.

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