British Comedy Guide

Favourite quotes Page 2

Scrubs:
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Kelso: What's got two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?

(beat)

Kelso: Bob Kelso! (points to himself with his thumbs) How you doing?

THE NEXT WEEK
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Kelso: What's still got two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?

(beat)

Kelso: Bob Kelso! (points to himself with his thumbs) I think we've met.

Quote: Aaron @ January 17, 2007, 1:34 PM

It'd be 'plane' rather than 'kite' then, surely?
But classic line, yes. :)

Au contraire Aaron.

if your talking simpsons then
PROF FRANK:here we have a ordinary square
CHEIF WIGUM: woh slow down there egghead.
zoo magazine did a four or five page pull out of the best simpson quotes.

darkplace

"i had a cat once, dropped a sofa on it, it was a right off so i stood on its head"

"your the most sensitive man i know, and i know god"

From Till Death Us Do Part:

Alf (talking about the birth of Jesus): "There wasn't no room at the inn that night"

Else: "Oh, it was Christmas - everywhere's always crowded at Christmas"

An episode of Steve Coogans 'Dr Terribles House Of Horrible'

'You, sir; are a giant crab!'

DARKPLACE:

Episode One.

A man who is now only a severed head on the floor: 'It really hurts . . .'

Dr Sanchez pokes his head into the blood, gore and body part covered room, SANCHEZ: Ill get the mop . . .'

Quote: Matthew Stott @ January 17, 2007, 5:41 PM

DARKPLACE:

Episode One.

A man who is now only a severed head on the floor: 'It really hurts . . .'

Dr Sanchez pokes his head into the blood, gore and body part covered room, SANCHEZ: Ill get the mop . . .'

really? i love darkplace but i think both those quotes are some of the worst lines in them, fair enough though each to their own

Quote: dyingtolive @ January 17, 2007, 6:30 PM

really? i love darkplace but i think both those quotes are some of the worst lines in them, fair enough though each to their own

Worst lines?! Thats funny stuff right there!!

100% support for Matthew Stott here - this is one of the fantastically inappropriate and yet sensible exchanges that made me enjoy Darkplace so much - I was about to give up watching before this bit came up.

Ideal - A BBC3 masterpiece!!!

MOZ: Cannabis is non-adictive; I should know I smoke it everyday!

AW

Just remembered this one from Spin City when Stuart took over Mike's office:

Stuart: Could you get me a coffee please? (SMARMY) And, in case you're wondering, I take my coffee like I take my women.
Stacey: You sure you want to pay $75 for a cup of coffee?
Stuart: Touche...

these are my favorite quotes from "the simpsons"
SCHOOLBOY: Where else but in America could our family find such opportunity? that's why, whenever i see the stars and stripes, i will reminded of that wonderful word: flag!

NEWSPAPER EDITOR: We're looking for for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh eveything he eats
HOMER: nah, it usually takes a few hours.

HOMER: kids you tried your hardest and miserably, the lesson is, never try.

HOMER: (on his computer screen it says, to start press any key "where's the any key?"

MARGE: Homer are you really going to ignore grampa for the rest of your life?
HOMER: of course not, Marge, just for the rest of his life.

plus this one from DEAD RINGERS
"(in posh accent) hello and welcome to bbc radio 4, and the crowds say bo, selecta.

and of course a load from "scrubs" and "not going out"

I'm pretty crap at remembering quotes but...

GAME ON
MARTIN: Look at the squirrel on her.
MATT: Squirrel?
MARTIN: Is it squirrel?
MATT: Sad bastard.
MARTIN: Beaver!

THE SIMPSONS
Ralph walks up to a hair dresser with a picture of Charlie Brown.
RALPH: Can you make me look like this?

There's tons more obviously but these two stick out.

"What with these feet" Porridge.

Classic. I have just finished watching that epo. I am in knots.

From Alf when alf was driving a Ferrari

Willy
Alf don't shout at the other drivers they'll see you

Alf
No way I'm driving to Fast

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