British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 175

Quote: Matthew Stott @ July 13 2010, 2:44 PM BST

Who actually swallows gulps of water at a swimming pool anyway?

Kids who've been forced to fast by idiot parents?

Surely kids of all people know not to swallow pool water.

The dirty little stealth wee-ers.

Quote: zooo @ July 13 2010, 2:50 PM BST

Surely kids of all people know not to swallow pool water.

The dirty little stealth wee-ers.

Yeah, and you never know who's been have a little wanky-doodle. Or a shit.

Sick

I know. I know. I was once caught having a shit in a swimming pool. Wasn't so much the shit itself, more trying to wipe afterwards that brought attention to it. I hadn't really thought it through.

Quote: john lucas 101 @ July 13 2010, 2:57 PM BST

I know. I know. I was once caught having a shit in a swimming pool. Wasn't so much the shit itself, more trying to wipe afterwards that brought attention to it. I hadn't really thought it through.

Rolling eyes

Quote: chipolata @ July 13 2010, 3:07 PM BST

Rolling eyes

You love it. I think I might use that 'story'if I ever find myself in a game of 'Two Truths and a Lie'.

Quote: john lucas 101 @ July 13 2010, 3:08 PM BST

You love it.

It's Robyn I feel for.

Quote: chipolata @ July 13 2010, 3:13 PM BST

It's Robyn I feel for.

You and your paternal instincts.

I rather like swimming poolwater. Mmmm prepubesent urine with a hint of chlorine.

I also had a shit in a swimming pool. I held Peter Mandelson's head under until he admitted he was gay.

I want to know why there are women-only pool sessions, but nothing for men. This sexual discrimination means that very often, I'm unable to get to swim.

Quote: Kenneth @ July 13 2010, 12:27 PM BST

Believe it or not, plenty of young Muslim kids in Muslim countries want to take part in the fasting - for that sense of being adult and community participation. It may not be our way or the right way - but it's their way. Provided children don't end up suffering illness or malnutrition, it doesn't hurt them to fast. Muslims actually eat MORE food during Ramadan than in other months, because the pre-dawn fasting meal is really big, and as soon as the sun sets, everyone pigs out on loads of food (usually better meals than the rest of the year - as it's a celebration). Of course some nominal Muslims care not for fasting and don't bother with it. And anyone who forced an infant to fast should not be a parent.

What hypocrites. And do they really "pig out"?

Sounds like the Jews who put string up to "enclose" spaces so they don't have to abide by their own laws if they don't want to.

Something Jules found. http://newspapers.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/972861 :D

Iron Mike Tyson loving life in Peterborough

http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/lifestyle/going_out_2_1859/iron_mike_tyson_loving_life_in_peterborough_1_670496

One of the weirdest things I've ever read - which part of this article isn't a dream sequence?

"The baddest man on the planet" was spotted by shocked shoppers in Queensgate [shopping centre] yesterday morning, where he bought a sandwich from Marks and Spencer's Food Hall."

Coogan in film remake of Cruise Of The Gods:

http://www.whatsontv.co.uk/drama/tv-news/news/coogan-set-for-cruise-of-the-gods-movie/9658

The original was pretty good, from what I can recall.

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