British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 2,437

Quote: chipolata @ July 12 2010, 10:22 AM BST

Pfff! We don't let people like Aaron near where I live!

HMP Broadmoor.

Quote: Aaron @ July 12 2010, 10:49 AM BST

HMP Broadmoor.

No, it's a posh area where people with good jobs who pay a lot of taxes live. :D

Quote: chipolata @ July 12 2010, 10:29 AM BST

I've already spent it anyway. Money burns a hole in my pocket. :$

Did you buy one of tbose 'special' bags of porn that you can get for a tenner? That's what I'm going to imagine, in my own prejudiced little mind.

Quote: john lucas 101 @ July 12 2010, 1:46 PM BST

Did you buy one of tbose 'special' bags of porn that you can get for a tenner?

*intrigued*

Quote: chipolata @ July 12 2010, 2:32 PM BST

*intrigued*

Yeah, whatever. Like you don't know about those. Unless they're particular to my newsagents in Streatham.

Not that I've bought any. Just seen them through the window. When they're closed.

When I opened my fridge this morning I thought there had been a murder.

There, in what looked like a pool of blood, was a lone pork sausage. However, forensic examination enabled me to deduce that a carton of rasperies had leaked juice onto the victim.

The relatives have been informed.

Quote: Tuumble @ July 12 2010, 5:32 PM BST

When I opened my fridge this morning I thought there had been a murder.

There, in what looked like a pool of blood, was a lone pork sausage. However, forensic examination enabled me to deduce that a carton of rasperies had leaked juice onto the victim.

The relatives have been informed.

Surely there had been a murder. Or was it a veggie sausage?

Quote: Tuumble @ July 12 2010, 5:32 PM BST

When I opened my fridge this morning I thought there had been a murder.

There, in what looked like a pool of blood, was a lone pork sausage. However, forensic examination enabled me to deduce that a carton of rasperies had leaked juice onto the victim.

The relatives have been informed.

This was an execution. If only the Police had let me talk to the sausage I'm sure that either me or Gazza could have talked him into giving himself up

On the train to the Seattle airport. From there I'll fly to Vegas and meet my son for the flight back home to Texas.

I think this holiday must have cost you in the region of 60 flagillion dollars. :)

Quote: zooo @ July 12 2010, 8:03 PM BST

I think this holiday must have cost you in the region of 60 flagillion dollars. :)

A few thousand, not too bad. My booze bill for the cruise was in the neighborhood of a thousand dollars. I tend to tip 50% or better in bars/pubs, so it's not as bad as it sounds.

Quote: DaButt @ July 12 2010, 8:08 PM BST

I tend to tip 50% or better in bars/pubs,

I'm glad we're not a tippy nation! Buying beer in bars is expensive enough as it is.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ July 12 2010, 8:12 PM BST

I'm glad we're not a tippy nation! Buying beer in bars is expensive enough as it is.

Beers were less than $5 on the ship and the bartenders were the best/friendliest I've ever met. I gave my favourite one an extra $50 at the end of the cruise to send home to the Philipines for presents for his 5-year-old son.

Hee. You're like someone out of a film. I love it.

Quote: DaButt @ July 12 2010, 8:22 PM BST

Beers were less than $5 on the ship and the bartenders were the best/friendliest I've ever met. I gave my favourite one an extra $50 at the end of the cruise to send home to the Philipines for presents for his 5-year-old son.

I probably would have given them a lovely smile instead.

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