A BUSY GASTRO PUB. TONY IS ON A FIRST DATE WITH ANNA. THEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR MEALS AND TONY IS NERVOUSLY LOOKING AT THE BILL.
TONY: Wow! That was more expensive than I was expecting...Do you mind if we split it?
ANNA: No, not at all, let's go dutch...
SUDDENLY ANNA IS SMASHED IN THE CHEST BY FOOTBALLER IN A FLYING TACKLE...
Quote: Gagsy @ July 12 2010, 5:22 PM BSTA BUSY GASTRO PUB. TONY IS ON A FIRST DATE WITH ANNA. THEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR MEALS AND TONY IS NERVOUSLY LOOKING AT THE BILL.
TONY: Wow! That was more expensive than I was expecting...Do you mind if we split it?
ANNA: No, not at all, let's go dutch...
SUDDENLY ANNA IS SMASHED IN THE CHEST BY FOOTBALLER IN A FLYING TACKLE...
Yes - very good. I was kind of expecting it though.
Nice one. Will date soon.
Can you rejig this as a one liner for Newsjack?
Quote: Chappers @ July 12 2010, 5:44 PM BSTYes - very good. I was kind of expecting it though.
Yeah, sort of obvious... and after this week a completely useless gag!
It just popped into my (usually empty) head, so thought I'd post it while it still actually has some topicality...
Quote: sootyj @ July 12 2010, 5:50 PM BSTNice one. Will date soon.
Can you rejig this as a one liner for Newsjack?
Cheers... and it's life span is probably only a matter of days...
It's very visual... would've worked on that James Corden show after the match!
Quote: Gagsy @ July 12 2010, 5:56 PM BSTYeah, sort of obvious... and after this week a completely useless gag!
It just popped into my (usually empty) head, so thought I'd post it while it still actually has some topicality...Cheers... and it's life span is probably only a matter of days...
It's very visual... would've worked on that James Corden show after the match!
That's why Sooty suggested you send it to Newsjack - QUICKLY!
I came up with something very similar on Monday morning.
By the look of things, there's going to be a big pile of 'em at Newsjack towers.
[quote name="Bomsh" post="639854" date="July 14 2010, 12:20 AM BST")
By the look of things, there's going to be a big pile of 'em at Newsjack towers.[/quote]
...
I wouldn't be surprised if there is...
I did take Chappers and Sooty's advice and rejigged it as a one liner, and sent it in - another one for the pile!
Good luck.
"I took my girlfriend to a tapas bar this weekend - when I suggested we go 'dutch' she kicked me in the chest and gave me a yellow card..."
Ah well, heard nowt - nuffin ventured nuffin gained... t'was worth a try.
I wasnt expecting the punchline. Good!!
Quote: Gagsy @ July 15 2010, 1:59 PM BST"I took my girlfriend to a tapas bar this weekend - when I suggested we go 'dutch' she kicked me in the chest and gave me a yellow card..."
Almost exactly the same - except for an appeal to the waiter instead of a yellow card. 
Did yours get on?
Quote: Bomsh @ July 15 2010, 6:27 PM BSTAlmost exactly the same - except for an appeal to the waiter instead of a yellow card.
Did yours get on?
I heard nothing, so assume that they didn't use it... as you said, probably lots of similar stuff...
Be interesting to listen to the show tonight and hear if anything along these lines were used...
Nice Gag, Sy! 
I gave a speech at a convention for people who have had funny things happen to them on the way to places. How ironic that nothing funny happened to me on the way to it!
Alanis Morissette is outside my house right now in the pissing rain, wearing a wedding dress and sitting astride my neighbour's Harley Davidson Sportster, which he gave to her as a gift after charging her twenty quid for a ride home from the pub. I advised her to take a taxi, but would she listen?
I should never have broken up with Pamela Anderson!