Crap teachers

MILES
Apparently our schools are packed with dangerously incompetent teachers. No longer do they need to fear being abused by sickos. Now they need to fear being confused by thickos. Zena Atkins head of the Offce for standards in educaton?

ZENA
Now come on Miles one bad teacher doesn't need to be seen as a disaster. Every one remembers the ancient history teacher and the maths teacher who just didn't add up.

MILES
But even one bad teacher. Can stop pupils getting the all important 5 GCSEs they need. To become an embittered unemployable graduate.

ZENA
Nonsense every school can carry the occaisonal duffer. I mean come on the Conservative party have to put up with Micheal Gove. And he never checks his homework.

Have you missed a bit of this off? It seems to start strongly but you haven't taken it as far as I think you could go with it. Newsjack don't tend to do sketches this short either, so if you've got the time I'd beef it out. Nice start though.

Quote: sootyj @ July 11 2010, 10:03 PM BST

MILES
Apparently our schools are packed with dangerously incompetent teachers. No longer do they need to fear being abused by sickos. Now they need to fear being confused by thickos. Zena Atkins head of the Offce for standards in educaton?

ZENA
Now come on Miles one bad teacher doesn't need to be seen as a disaster. Every one remembers the ancient history teacher and the maths teacher who just didn't add up.

MILES
But even one bad teacher. Can stop pupils getting the all important 5 GCSEs they need. To become an embittered unemployable graduate.

ZENA
Nonsense every school can carry the occaisonal duffer. I mean come on the Conservative party have to put up with Micheal Gove. And he never checks his homework.

MILES
But surely the parents won't stand for incompetent teachers? I mean they complain if Jamie Oliver hasn't cut the crusts off their sandwiches personally.

ZENA
Of course. But most of the fussy parents send their kids to church schools. They prayed to get them in. Can't they pray for rubbish teachers to get smited by a thunderbolt or stone them to death or something?

MILES
So if you won't fire these teachers and the parents won't put up with them. Where will they end up?

ZENA
Oh some over budgetted government department. There's alway somewhere to dump the excess.

MILES
Thanks Zena. And later on Newsjack (FX SOUND OF SCRIPT BEING SHUFFLED) something topical, I haven't got time to prepare lessons why don't you read chapters 3 and 4 of this weeks Private Eye.

View original

Soot - I liked some of the lines in this. I did my own teacher one this week but a completely different take so my feedback is not biased.

MILES
Apparently our schools are packed with dangerously incompetent teachers. No longer do they need to fear being abused by sickos. Now they need to fear being confused by thickos. Zena Atkins head of the Offce for standards in educaton? - Didn't really have Miles voice IMHO

ZENA
Now come on Miles one bad teacher doesn't need to be seen as a disaster. Every one remembers the ancient history teacher and the maths teacher who just didn't add up. - Didn't get this?

MILES
But even one bad teacher. Can stop pupils getting the all important 5 GCSEs they need. To become an embittered unemployable graduate. - Loved this

ZENA
Nonsense every school can carry the occaisonal duffer. I mean come on the Conservative party have to put up with Micheal Gove. And he never checks his homework. - and this

MILES
But surely the parents won't stand for incompetent teachers? I mean they complain if Jamie Oliver hasn't cut the crusts off their sandwiches personally. and this

ZENA
Of course. But most of the fussy parents send their kids to church schools. They prayed to get them in. Can't they pray for rubbish teachers to get smited by a thunderbolt or stone them to death or something? - didn't like this really

MILES
So if you won't fire these teachers and the parents won't put up with them. Where will they end up?

ZENA
Oh some over budgetted government department. There's alway somewhere to dump the excess.

MILES
Thanks Zena. And later on Newsjack (FX SOUND OF SCRIPT BEING SHUFFLED) something topical, I haven't got time to prepare lessons why don't you read chapters 3 and 4 of this weeks Private Eye. -Thought this was a really funny clever ending.

Thanks very detailed feedback.

The maths teacher is a double entendre on "doesn't add up."

It's a bit of fun but I don't hold out much hope.

Maybe they will marry my sketch with yours, and it will be brilliant, the sketch of the entire series. Then it will go viral and Disney will make a movie, and it will cure sick children and bring about world peace....

Either that or go straight in the shit bin with mine

Shit don't say that. Or I'd have to murder you like Dudley Moore killed Peter Cooke.

Wot! you have a club foot??