NJ: Which Laws Do You Want Repealed?

Yet more politics. Shame Lewis was off really...

Dan

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Which Laws Do You Want Repealed?
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MILES:
During their stint in the hot seat, Labour brought in a staggering 4,300 new laws during their tenure. And yet there wasn't one for claiming unethical amounts of duck feed, flipping second home allowances or even invading a country under the pretence of WMDs in order to commandeer all their oil for the US. Nick Clegg's latest misinformed ideology, however, is to ask us, the equally-misinformed public, which laws we want repealed. That man is a crazy loon...

GRAMS: GAME SHOW MUSIC. AUDIENCE GO WILD

NICK CLEGG:
Thank you! Thank you! I'm Nick Clegg and welcome back to... 'Which Laws Do You Want Repealed?'!

F/X: AUDIENCE GO WILD

NICK:
Yes, yes! We are going to reduce beaurocracy tonight, live in your living room! The winner of tonight's contest *will* have their law repealed!

F/X: AUDIENCE WHOOP AND HOLLER

NICK:
(SERIOUS) So, we're down to tonight's finalists, Helen from Cambridge!

HELEN:
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

NICK:
And Steve, from London!

STEVE:
(ROUGH) Great to be here! I don't get out much!

NICK:
Right, right! Settle down, settle down....

F/X: SOME SORT OF TENSE 'DUM-DUM-DUM' SOUND EFFECT

NICK:
So... Helen... Which law... do you want... *repealed*?!

HELEN:
Well, Nick... I'm *well* excited. I want to... repeal... the smoking ban!

F/X: AUDIENCE BOO AND HISS

NICK:
Oh-ho-ho! Helen, Helen, Helen. Looks like you're not going to win the audience over with your policy. Let's hope, for your sake, Steve's policy is even less favourable. Steve.

STEVE:
(NERVOUS BREATH IN) Hi Nick!

NICK:
So, Steve. Smoking ban to beat. Which law... do you want... *repealed*!?

STEVE:
Well, Nick. The law I want repealed is...

F/X: AUDIENCE MURMUR EXCITEDLY

STEVE:
First degree murder!

F/X: UTTER AND COMPLETE SILENCE. A SINGLE AUDIENCE MEMBER 'WOOHOO'S, 'YEAH'S AND CLAPS ENTHUSIASTICALLY

NICK:
(STUNNED) Well, under my new democratic reform policy, I guess that means first degree murder is... now... legal. (BEAT) Oh my god. What have I done?! (BEAT) Steve, I suppose you are free to go. Take the cuffs off him lads.

END

Dude, it's 'bureaucracy'. And in the first line 'During their stint in the hot seat, Labour brought in a staggering 4,300 new laws during their tenure' you've basically said the same thing twice. I'm not trying to be a twat here (I manage that without much effort) but just pointing out that if you don't spellcheck you give them a real good reason to skip on to the next sketch in the huge pile that stands between them and a latte and a doughnut. For the record, my bogey words are apparently, sentence, disappear and embarrassment (and yes I did have to write them all out on word just now and check for wavy red lines).

Sketch: strikes me you take a looooong time to get to the one good gag. Maybe better to kick off with the murder gag and see where it takes you. Just a thought.

Yeah -- I was really tired doing this and got a bit sloppy with spelling and writing too much stuff more than I actually needed to write to make a point properly.

Really think that's the good gag? I was struggling to end it and thought I was copping out a bit. But, you know, as per my success rate, what the f**k do I know about writing sketches.

Cheers lots

Dan

Quote: swerytd @ July 9 2010, 2:54 PM BST

.

Really think that's the good gag?

View original

It's the only one, isn't it?

You've made me think about it now. It worked for me because the preamble leads us to expect something quite adroit and closely argued and instead you hit us with something obvious that we'd overlooked in the initial assumptions we brought to the sketch.

Trouble is, having got our attention, you don't really do much with it. Like if you'd shouted 'arse' and walked off stage leaving the audience thinking 'why did he shout 'arse'?'. The ending you've got reads like, as you yourself said, you just wanted to sign off as quick as poss and leave the sketch.

I don't know where else you'd go - maybe Nick: have you committed murder, Steve: Not yet, or Steve only wants it repealed next Tuesday afternoon or Nick gets so fed up he repeals the law just so he can shoot him or ... well, they're not great ideas either. Hopefully you'd come up with something we can't think of straight away.

Funnily enough, I don't think murder is on the statute book anyway.