NJ: Mini Nick

Hi all. I sent this to Newsjack with no avail. Appreciate your thoughts as I am still struggling abit with sketches - I feel as if my initial idea sometimes get lost!? Look forward to your thoughts. JH

ATMOS IN: FACTORY AMBIENCE. MOTORS ARE WHIRRING. WORKERS IN BACKGROUND TALKING

MILESCasually) Oh look a little Nick Clegg, how cute. (Normal tone) Ahem, Betty, why exactly did you decide to produce the Nick Clegg doll?

BETTY:Hello Miles. Well, we at Aunt Betty's Toys started producing the Mini Nick just before the election. After the success of those Hilary Clinton nut crackers in the US we thought a four inch Nick Clegg would be worth a gamble: win, lose or coalition.

MILES:And at four inches we can all have a Nick Clegg in our pocket can't we?

BETTY:Exactly Miles.

MILES:A nice idea Betty. I presume the doll actually has a function, a job?

BETTY:Indeed it does Miles. We tried to make the Mini Nick as realistic as possible. As such they are fully adjustable and can be manoeuvred in to almost any position -

MILES:- Like Deputy PM?

BETTYNot quite, but as you can see the hands are fully flexible.

MILES:And I see he's sticking two fingers up at us at the moment.

BETTY:Yes, I saw you do that earlier, bery good. What I really love about the doll is the pre-recorded phrases. All you need to do is press here, and bingo!

FX:BETTY LIFTS DOLL AND PRESSES BUTTON

DOLLD) Electoral reform! Electoral reform!

MILES:Hah, yes we've all heard that chestnut before haven't we?

BETTY:I like that one. There are some more though, listen:

FX:BETTY LIFTS DOLL AND PRESSES BUTTON

DOLLD) Scrap Trident! Scrap Trident!

MILES:That was recorded before the election wasn't it?

BETTY:How did you know? And lastly:

FX:BETTY LIFTS DOLL AND PRESSES BUTTON

DOLLD) I love you, David! I love you, David!

MILES:Well I've got to say Betty the Mini Nick is, as our American cousins would say, very good indeed. So how much can we pick up a Mini Nick for?

BETTYh you can't put a price on these Miles.

MILES:Why not?

BETTY:Because unlike the real Nick Clegg these aren't for sale

END

Hi JH

Not that I know much but...

It really needs a miles intro to set the scene. The story is a bit old hat as well. There were some well written lines but no real funny jokes. A miles ending is needed as well.

What Will said.

I haven't heard this story so you need a Miles intro (with joke) to set the scene for those uninformed barbarians like myself.

Like the jokes, myself. Especially the talking bits, but the third 'talking thing' needs to be something outrageous for the big laugh.

Will's right about an outro too. Needs a way out of the sketch. Not sure if the 'aren't for sale' is a big enough finish.

Hope this is useful.

Dan

Quote: Will Cam @ July 8 2010, 8:37 PM BST

Hi JH

needs a miles intro... The story is a bit old hat as well. There were some well written lines but no real funny jokes. A miles ending is needed as well.

View original

Thanks guys. I think you are right I was never happy with this but I thought I would put it out there for your thoughts. I think the main problem is it is a joke stretched out to a sketch...

... that said, for the time being I may stick to doing vox pops/corrections; cept maybe I will write something for sthe skit comp to brush up my technique.

Cheers, J

Nah -- keep trying with the sketches. You'll only get better with the practice.

Dan

Don't be too hard on youself. It's a fine sketch, and the sign off is just fine too. The problem is, as mentioned above, it's past its sell by date already. It's the big story, and they go stale quickest of all because everyone's doing those jokes. To really catch the mood and get the laugh, I'd guess you've probably got to be first up to the plate with something this.

As they say, the secret of comedy is ... oh, what was it ... erm ...