Went to the doctor, told me I had 'ayfever, turns out I'm allergic to the Fonz.
Booked a massage online, 10 minutes later got a text from a French Bloke.
Joined a social networking site for people with speech impediments, called Stutter you have 147 character or 1 word limit, depends what's quicker.
I went to school with a girl with double-barrelled name, she was called Shotgun.
I'll just get my coat...
These are quality Danny, especially the first two 
My bins were raided for organic leftovers. I hate suburban foxes
That's not a frying pan, it's a ladle!
so funny...
Quote: sootyj @ July 8 2010, 3:01 PM BSTMy bins were raided for organic leftovers. I hate suburban foxes
Get yer own one liner thread 
The first two are really good but I'd fully expect them both to fly over the head's of your audience.
Quote: David Bussell @ July 8 2010, 4:24 PM BSTThe first two are really good but I'd fully expect them both to fly over the head's of your audience.
Sad but true, a couple of others.
Signed up to a DIY course, turned up there was no-one there.
Went into WHSMITH and asked the assistant where the self-help books were, he said 'if I told you wouldn't that be defeating the object',
Very good, but those first two that Dave Bussell says would go over your audience's heads, went over my head too! I vaguely think I ought to get them, but didn't. Still laughed though, as I heard you in my head saying them! You're starting to be like Tommy Cooper! Or is that 'enery?
Quote: Frankie Rage @ July 8 2010, 6:41 PM BSTVery good, but those first two that Dave Bussell says would go over your audience's heads, went over my head too! I vaguely think I ought to get them, but didn't. Still laughed though, as I heard you in my head saying them! You're starting to be like Tommy Cooper! Or is that 'enery?
Ah it was the power of the Fonz, always get's a laugh.
Actually a recent review called me Cooper'esque... sadly I think it was a Mini Cooper they were thinging of.
I went to a bait shop today, didn't want to but the shopkeeper kept daring me not to.
Really good stuff there Danny old chap 
me too!
Nice one Daniel!
Quote: dannyjb1 @ July 8 2010, 6:44 PM BSTAh it was the power of the Fonz, always get's a laugh.
Funny enough to justify a repost:
