swerytd
Thursday 8th July 2010 9:26pm
Guildford
7,542 posts
Like your corrections, Big Jack. They're good.
My failures, again:
VOX-POP:
Hot sweats, high fever, foaming at the mouth. I'm livid that Cheryl Cole can't be bothered to take anti-malaria tablets!
GANGSTER:
I see most employers demand at least a 2:1 qualification now. Doesn't bother me, I've got a first class degree. In murder. (F/X: JAIL DOOR)
VOX POP:
I was on that Google Earth the other day and, you won't believe what I saw - A face... in the image... of... Richard Dawkins!
VOX-POP:
Old board games are making a comeback, aren't they? Ed Balls spent £2.5billion like he was playing 'Go For Broke'? Tory MP Caroline Nokes and an activist tried to reinvent 'Twister' and, for his entire tenure, John Prescott played 'Hungry Hippos'.
VOX-POP:
MI-5 is searching for 20 Russian spies in a week where James Bond has finally died. I think it's clear who's won the Cold War now!
VOX-POP:
Peter Andre has signed a £1million deal with ITV. I wonder how long that'll take him to count out. On his fingers.
FAIRGROUND:
Why doesn't George Michael just come here and crash into my other dodgems. He can be as stoned as he likes and I won't ban him!
CORRECTION:
Newsjack would like to apologise for our error last week. We did, of course, mean 'Big *budget' porn movie'. A big budgie would be a parrot.
POST-CREDITS:
That was an episode of Newsjack from July 2010, mere months before Noel Edmonds was eaten live on 'Deal Or No Deal' after a clerical error released some lions from Bristol Zoo instead of a prisoner from Bristol Prison. The unfortunate prisoner was knighted later that year for services to broadcasting.
and some in response to their last minute Tweet requests:
CORRECTION:
Newsjack would like to apologise to Lord Ashcroft for last week's error. He has, of course, given up his status as a 'non-dom' and not a 'condom'.
CORRECTION:
Newsjack would like to apologise to everyone for the mistake last week. Lord Ashcroft has, of course, given up his 'non-dom in tax status' to stay in Lords, not his 'non-dominatrix' status. Hopefully, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief now that's been cleared up.
CORRECTION:
Apologies to Takeru Kobayashi, who was imprisoned last week, as a direct result of Newsjack suggesting he ate the most dogs at a hot dog-eating contest. He, of course, only came second.
Dan