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Morning All

I currently write a blog for my local Newspaper. People can comment directly on the website, but they tend not to, which is why I'm asking if you can please take a look via the link below and help me by providing some feedback.

My aim is to try and keep it light and amusing, which I am not sure I am achieving

Appreciate you taking the time to look and comment

http://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/yoursay/features/andy_leeks/

Andy

Nice gig, how did you ge it?

Sounds obvious, but I asked and they said yes!

They did a story on me after I lost a load of weight and run in a race in aid of charity. In chatting to the reporter I said that the blogs on the site were, ahem, a little conventional (Boring) so I asked him to put a good word in for me and he did

Well done you on all accounts. Nice blog as well I enjoyed it,

Cheers Sootyj

Any other comments?

Hey Andy

Read through these. The best one is the latest one about the phone-in; it zips along at a fair old pace and is very entertaining.

The others are good but they feel a bit 'linear'. It's hard to describe but there's a lot of what actually factually happened rather than some analogueising and simile-ing. You could be a bit more rant-y for more humour. Also, it feels like you need to come full circle and finish off where you start. But that might be just me liking Clarkson and Charlie Brooker columns and setting them as benchmarks for humourous column-writing.

I think they need a few more contrived one-liners thrown in too (the 'Mickey Mouse prize' one in the latest blog is excellent and the sort of thing I mean)

Hope this is useful

Dan

Quote: swerytd @ July 7 2010, 3:25 PM BST

Hey Andy

Read through these. The best one is the latest one about the phone-in; it zips along at a fair old pace and is very entertaining.

The others are good but they feel a bit 'linear'. It's hard to describe but there's a lot of what actually factually happened rather than some analogueising and simile-ing. You could be a bit more rant-y for more humour. Also, it feels like you need to come full circle and finish off where you start. But that might be just me liking Clarkson and Charlie Brooker columns and setting them as benchmarks for humourous column-writing.

I think they need a few more contrived one-liners thrown in too (the 'Mickey Mouse prize' one in the latest blog is excellent and the sort of thing I mean)

Hope this is useful

Dan

Thanks Dan, this is exactly what I am after.

Contrived one liners I am comfortable with. I think that because it is a local rag, I have to tell the story as it is, rather than using poetic licence. I'll definitely try and rant style blog next. Coming full circle is what I always try to do and think I have in the first two (New Forest and BBQ) but I lost that in the others. I'm glad you have mentioned it as I agree, Clarkson and the like do that very well and it leaves you feeling satisfied afterwards, rather than stumbling down a dead end

Thanks once again

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