Sootyj the milkman 5

SOOTYJ IS RIDING DOWN THE ROAD ON HIS MILK FLOAT. HE IS DRESSED AS A CHEERY 70S STYLE MILKMAN AND SMOKING A ROLLY.

SOOTYJ
Heh heh what a day eh. I've only just got the blooming route in all of improbable, self referential sketch land. I've got Sara Palin, that fat bird of GMTV who had a gastric band and Liz Sladen.
Hooerr snark snark.

SOOTYJ STOPS THE MILK FLOAT AND CHANGES THE SIGN FROM "Milk man," to "Milf man."

SOOTYJ
I'll be delivering some pints of cream I tells ya. With my balls providing the ultra heat treatment. Snark snark then I guess I'm going to toss some yoghurt at...

SOOTYJ'S MILF FLOAT EXPLODES IN A BALL OF FLAME.
LEAVING SOOTYJ STANDING LOOKING COMICLY BURNED, COVERED IN SOOT, WITH NO EYEBROWS OR TROUSERS.

SOOTYJ WAVES HIS FIST AT THE SKY.

WE SEE BUSSELL FLYING OFF ON A SKY-MILKFLOAT PULLED BY A MIGHTY DRAGON

SOOTYJ
Damn you I do the self referntial, unfunny sketches around here!

SOOTYJ IS BURIED BENEATH AN ENORMOUS DRAGON POO.

A SMALL NAKED CRYING CHILD WALKS ON

SMNCC
Waah at least you got some feedback.

SOOTYJ MUFFLED BENEATH THE DRAGON POO
And I still think that dragon looks kinda gay.

That's some niche material right there!

I'm always trying to find my niche. It's why I fall off so many cliff.

If the patrons of BCG all get together and invest a load of money into production, this would be thing they make. And it would appeal to no-one!

Still, I get it.

Dan

Oh I've got a dragon and a couple of milk floats.

Does any one have any rolling tobacco as I am a none smoke?

How long after you take the tablets do you write Soot

I never take the tablets.

That explains everything. Tell me, what do you see when I show you this card:

^^^**()(%$&^$%@$£*()*&&^$
&&^%&^%^&&^%$%$£%%$£
$$%£%£%£$££%%£%$£%£$%
£$%£%$£%$ %$@£@^&*()_*
%$^%^&(**& **&&*&*^$$&
@$$$£@% &*^^&^%%%*%
£$£%^%&%( $^^^^^^%$^
^**£@(_! @(*&*&^%$%£$@!
%$£%^£ &*%&%&^&%
(^&&^( &&&^^(&^((
&%&^*%^^%%^%*&^%**%%((%(%^(
%$£@!!!()(*)(&&*^%$£%&&*(*((*(*

I like it.

All the self reverential stuff on BCG is ok with me.
I myself have Davinci code type clues in all of my sketches.
In fact, if you just read the first letter of every sketch then you've saved yourself both time & pain.

Quote: Will Cam @ July 6 2010, 9:50 PM BST

That explains everything. Tell me, what do you see when I show you this card:

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a bench, waiting for the bus to come.
Corporation t-shirts, stupid bloody Tuesday.
You've been a naughty boy, you let your hair grow long.
I am eatting eggs, they are eatting eggs, I'm John Lennon,
Goo goo ga joob.

Mister City P'liceman sitting
Pretty little girls in a row.
See how they fly like a plane in the Sky, see how they fly.
I'm crying.
I'm cry, I'm crying, I'm cry.

Yellow custard, dripping from a large black pot.
Fisherman with his fishwife,
You've been a naughty boy and you let your face get dirty.
I am eatting eggs (woo), they are eatting eggs (woo), I am John Lennon,
Goo goo ga joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get wet from
Sitting in the English rain.
I am eatting eggs, they are eatting eggs, I am John Lennon,
goo goo gajoob ga goo goo gajoob.

Expert singers, choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (ho ho ho, he he he, ha ha ha)
See how they snort like pigs in a sty, see how they snide.
I'm crying.

Eleanor Rigby, climbing up the stairs.
Expert singers singing Hare Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them reading Edgar Allan Poe.
I am eatting eggs, they are eatting eggs, I John Lennon,
Goo goo gajoob ga goo goo ga joob
(everybody ho ha everybody ho ha!)

Great song, but terrible film.

View original