British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidated Tour De France thread

It's live on ITV4 now. Get watching, we have the first British Team for 32 years, with the highest ever placed British rider in Bradley Wiggins (dickyback ride jokes encouraged) and Mark Cavendish - the best sprinter in the world and cheated of the Green jersey last year. It's worth watching just to hear Armstrong's excuses when the sad old f**ker falls of the GC table.

Shock horror - Wiggins has had a normal haircut!

I like riding my push bike.

I'm hoping for lots of controversy.

I like Lance Armstrong's abnormal heart. I used to like Greg LuMond and Miguel Indurain too.

And I always look forward to the angry crap Floyd Landis always has to say!

Can you ride tandem?

What the f**k's this? Where are all the Tour fans?

Quote: Ben @ July 3 2010, 6:59 PM BST

I like Lance Armstrong's abnormal heart. I used to like Greg LuMond and Miguel Indurain too.

LeMond was a great bike rider and Tour winner. Indurain was boring as hell. Same with Armstrong - used his team to smash everyone, never understood that people want panache and risk in a champion, not crushing dominance.

Quote: AndreaLynne @ July 3 2010, 11:17 PM BST

And I always look forward to the angry crap Floyd Landis always has to say!

Landis is a bullshitter, but his claims about Armstrong and the team using boosted blood are credible. After all, Armstrong completely wiped out some of the best riders who ever lived in his tour wins - almost all of whom have subsequently been found to have used illegal substances.

If they were all on drugs and Armstrong was clean than he's even better than the record shows which makes him a miracle rider.

It can be very exciting, but all the drug scandals take the shine off it. Makes you very cynical about the winners.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ July 5 2010, 2:05 AM BST

What the f**k's this? Where are all the Tour fans?

Taking part in it.

My Dad watches it, but he watches Lewis, too.

I love the "tour" I love its unfathomable scoring system and its ruthless mixed with cute sentimentality. And the drug busts!

Fat bottomed girls make the rocking World go round,
Get on your bikes and ride!

The Tour is interesting to watch but I don't have time at the mo being poor and underpaid.

Q. What pointless race covers 200 miles of France?

A. The French.

I love the tour. It's totally engrossing and can be very exciting.

It did have a problem a few years back with the amount of people using drugs but cycling is probably at the forefront of tackling drugs in sports and so is probably more high profile. But they seem to have weeded out a lot of it. And in what other sport would the star competitors get tested several times during a tournament?

As far as this years race goes, the first week has been immense. The cobbles, the first mountain stage, cavendish winning. Though it's a shame that it is already a two horse race (even though the two were pretty much the only ones going to win at the start of the race). Thought there would be more GC riders a bit closer.

Hope Wiggins can get in the top ten, just not got the legs this time around, plus team sky are not the strongest, especially compared to astana and saxobank.

Quote: Nil Putters @ July 13 2010, 12:39 PM BST

Q. What pointless race covers 200 miles of France?

A. The French.

Laughing out loud

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