ANNOUNCER Radio 4 tonight will be historically simulcasting the chancellors first budget and the final of the world cup. England vs Germany.
ANNOUNCER2
And there goes the referees starting whistle. And oh my gosh England has scored a goal in the opening 5 seconds!
CHANCELLOR
These are tough times and cuts must be made.
ANNOUNCER2
That's Englands second goal. The german goalee has just shot himself.
CHANCELLOR
We will be replacing the pension at 65 with slave labor for the old.
ANNOUNCER2
Oh no the Germans have just equalised and now scored a 3rd goal.
CHANCELLOR
This government will give free Werther's Originals to everyone over 60.
ANNOUNCER2
And the referee has just disallowed those 3 goals, the German's are allowed only 1 ball. And Britains scored again!
CHANCELLOR
The BBC will be reduced to 2 channels as a cost saving measure. BBC slapstick and BBC clever dick.
ANNOUNCER2
And with the game in it's final moments, England leads Germany 27 nothing. There's some people on the pitch.
CHANCELLOR
The NHS will be sold to McDonalds, the Royal family to Disney world,
ANNOUNCER2
The people on the pitch are the police. They're arresting the entire England team. Germany is scoring goal after goal into an open England net. They think it's all over....
CHANCELLOR
It is now.