British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 120

Banzai!

Quote: Gerry McDonnell @ May 25 2010, 5:03 PM BST

I've found an even worse one, wtf?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDV_25UxlV0&feature=player_embedded

Apart from the fact the song is insane.

He looks like the crossbow cannibal realising he's full but there's half a prossie still in the fridge.

England's Pride featuring Neil Morrissey

Lion Sleeps Tonight (England's on the Way)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZq8A59NH1U

Look out for Frankie goes to Hollywood's guitarist on the mixing desk. :P

England's 23-man squad for the World Cup finals:

Goalkeepers: Joe Hart (Manchester City), David James (Portsmouth), Robert Green (West Ham).

Defenders: Jamie Carragher (Liverpool), Ashley Cole (Chelsea), Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United), Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Ledley King (Tottenham), John Terry (Chelsea), Matthew Upson (West Ham), Stephen Warnock (Aston Villa).

Midfielders: Gareth Barry (Manchester City), Michael Carrick (Manchester United), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Aaron Lennon (Tottenham), James Milner (Aston Villa), Shaun Wright-Phillips (Manchester City).

Forwards: Peter Crouch (Tottenham), Jermain Defoe (Tottenham), Emile Heskey (Aston Villa), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United).

Out: Theo Walcott, Darren Bent, Adam Johnson, Scott Parker, Michael Dawson, Leighton Baines and Tom Huddlestone.

F**k me!

I'm sure Emile Heskey is a very nice man, but he is a f**king donkey. 7 goals in 57 matches? It would have been more beneficial if they had left him at home and taken extra oranges for half time.

On the England World Cup squad. I think it was brave leaving Walcott out, I'm not his biggest fan but I would have chosen him over Wright-Phillips though. If I was a gambling man, I'd have taken Adam Johnson instead. Anyway, Lennon for me is by far our best winger.

As for Heskey, I do rate him and would start him in the finals. I know his goal-scoring is appalling, he'll probably score one goal in the World Cup, but when he doesn't score, 8/10 Rooney or whoever's up front with him will. Crouch is probably the best player to have up there with Rooney, but I think he'd be a great impact sub, so would start with Heskey and as the games go on, replace him with Crouch.

All the flim-flam discussion is ultimately about reserves, though I would say SWP is very lucky to get in ahead of either Walcott or Johnson. Best news is that Joe Cole is in - I can't believe he was ever not going but the Sunday papers reckoned so.

Joe Cole never looks like he's happy, in fact he looks like a coink (mixture of c**t and oick) . Neither for that matter does Lampard. Must be a chelsea thing

So, all you armchairs pundits, how safe is my £20 @ 6-1 ?

Will I collect ?

Pleased

Heskey's record is poor to say the least but he has scored some important goals:

Goal 5 in the 5-1 drubbing of Germany in Munich and goal 3 in the 3-0 win 2002 World Cup second round against Denmark. The problem is is that both those matches are the best part of 10 years ago and has only scored three times since...against South Africa, Slovakia and Kazakhstan.

He's played against some real footballing power houses in his 30 games since his goal in the 2002 world Cup mind. Should we talk about his failure to score against the likes of Liechtenstein, Andorra and Iceland? Probably best not.

Match List
30 May 10 v Japan
10 Oct 09 v Ukraine
09 Sep 09 v Croatia
05 Sep 09 v Slovenia
12 Aug 09 v Holland
06 Jun 09 v Kazakhstan - GOAL!
28 Mar 09 v Slovakia - GOAL!
11 Feb 09 v Spain
15 Oct 08 v Belarus
11 Oct 08 v Kazakhstan
10 Sep 08 v Croatia
06 Sep 08 v Andorra
20 Aug 08 v Czech Republic
12 Sep 07 v Russia
08 Sep 07 v Israel
13 Jun 04 v France
05 Jun 04 v Iceland
01 Jun 04 v Japan
31 Mar 04 v Sweden
18 Feb 04 v Portugal
16 Nov 03 v Denmark
11 Oct 03 v Turkey
06 Sep 03 v Macedonia
20 Aug 03 v Croatia
03 Jun 03 v Serbia & Mont
22 May 03 v South Africa - GOAL!
29 Mar 03 v Liechtenstein
12 Oct 02 v Slovakia
07 Sep 02 v Portugal
21 Jun 02 v Brazil
15 Jun 02 v Denmark - GOAL!
12 Jun 02 v Nigeria
07 Jun 02 v Argentina
02 Jun 02 v Sweden
26 May 02 v Cameroon
21 May 02 v South Korea
27 Mar 02 v Italy
13 Feb 02 v Holland
10 Nov 01 v Sweden
06 Oct 01 v Greece
05 Sep 01 v Albania
01 Sep 01 v Germany - GOAL!
06 Jun 01 v Greece
25 May 01 v Mexico
28 Mar 01 v Albania
24 Mar 01 v Finland
28 Feb 01 v Spain - GOAL!
15 Nov 00 v Italy
11 Oct 00 v Finland
20 Jun 00 v Romania
12 Jun 00 v Portugal
03 Jun 00 v Malta - GOAL!
31 May 00 v Ukraine
23 Feb 00 v Argentina
17 Nov 99 v Scotland
10 Oct 99 v Belgium
09 Jun 99 v Bulgaria
28 Apr 99 v Hungary

Quote: Tuumble @ June 2 2010, 12:14 AM BST

Heskey's record is poor to say the least

On Radio 5 Live Five Live Radio 5 ( one has to do that to keep up with Tristram's channel ID targets) Heskey had eight shots on target in the last Premiership season.

Do you think Betfred would give me a refund on an unused World Cup bet ?

Or would anybody like to buy it off me for £15 ?

I'm hearing lots and lots of rumours Rafa Benitez has been sacked.

Quote: Jack Massey @ June 2 2010, 9:31 PM BST

I'm hearing lots and lots of rumours Rafa Benitez has been sacked.

http://tinyurl.com/34lmsmk

Wish I had a job that paid millions per year, and that if I failed they'd pay me £15M you f**k off. There's something very wrong in this world.

It must be difficult for Rafa though, not only managing Liverpool but also starring in them 'Go Compare' adverts.

Quote: Jack Massey @ June 2 2010, 9:39 PM BST

It must be difficult for Rafa though, not only managing Liverpool but also starring in them 'Go Compare' adverts.

:D

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