In Flight Meals

INT. A PASSENGER JET CABIN. A STEWARDESS WALKS DOWN THE AISLE HANDING OUT MEALS FROM A TROLLY.

STEWARDESS:
The beef or vegetarian?

CUT TO A PASSENGER, AN ANTELOPE.

ANTELOPE:
Ooh the vegetarian...thanks. Thank you.

THE STEWARDESS MOVES ON TO THE NEXT PASSENGER, A ZEBRA.

ZEBRA:
Same please.

STEWARDESS:
Vegetarian?

ZEBRA:
Yeah thanks.

THE STEWARDESS MOVES ON TO THE NEXT PASSENGER, A LION.

STEWARDESS:
The beef or vegetarian?

LION:
Vegetarian please.

THE STEWARDESS LOOKS UNSURE.

LION:
Only joking, beef please. Roar. Haha.

THE STEWARDESS MOVES ON TO THE NEXT PASSENGER.

STEWARDESS:
Beef or vegetarian?

END.

It's a good idea and works nicely.

But don't lions usually eat zebras?

Cheers Sooty. I thought they might eat some kind of african hoofed cow thing too. I shall check and make the necessary adjustments.

I really like it. Just change beef to meat. Not a big issue though.

Lions will take most things, including various African bovids (Cape Buffalo, Wilderbeest, Eland, Kudu) and domestic cattle. But I assume that soots objection was that a lion sat next to an antelope and a zebra would make his own in-flight meal arrangements (the Ark problem). Given the absurdity of the premise I do not see beef on the menu as an issue, but I do think that as it stands this is not strong enough as a quickie. Is there any scope for developing it further?

Brilliant, sublime set up, but it needs a bigger punch I think.

Also, what about proper meal titles, like 'Beef bourguignon' and 'Broccoli and aubergine tart'.

Quite an expensive sketch to produce so you might have to think of a few.

All good points I have to admit. In my mind this my effort to do a 'Sorry I've Got No Head' type sketch. So, whilst I imagine to be done in low-fi costumes, if I'm honest I am unsure as to whether this would make it expensive.

Think there is definitely scope for more, and more scope in this one so I'll have another look at it.

Thanks again everyone.

Nice one Scratchy, although I was expecting the Lion to say something like, 'Beef, of course, I am drinking the Merlot after all.'

Quote: AngieBaby @ June 1 2010, 9:14 PM BST

'Beef, of course, I am drinking the Merlot after all.'

View original

Just to wade in, I think Angie's line would finish it off very nicely.

Tried to expand it a bit, any thoughts more than welcome. LIke the idea of the wine Angie but gone with a different ending. Could well be worse though

INT. A PASSENGER JET CABIN. A STEWARDESS WALKS DOWN THE AISLE HANDING OUT MEALS FROM A TROLLY.

STEWARDESS:
Hello there. The beef or the salad?

CUT TO TWO PASSENGERS. AN ANTELOPE AND A BEAR.

BEAR:
I did order the salmon, I filled out a little card when I came on board?

STEWARDESS:
I'm very sorry sir but I don't appear to have any salmon left. I only had four and the eagles had those.

BEAR:
Tut. Nuts and berries again.

THE STEWARDESS TURNS HER ATTENTION TO THE ANTELOPE.

STEWARDESS:
Sir? Salad?

ANTELOPE:
Another one? I'm still working on the first one.

STEWARDESS:
Well this is a twelve hour flight to Los Angeles. We serve two meals on long hauls.

ANTELOPE:
No honestly I'm fine. I'll just graze.

THE STEWARDESS MOVES ON TO THE NEXT PASSENGER. A LION.

STEWARDESS:
The beef or Salad?

LION:
Salad please.

THE STEWARDESS LOOKS UNSURE.

LION:
Only joking, beef please. Roar. Haha.

THE STEWARDESS MOVES ON TO THE NEXT PASSENGER. A FLY.

STEWARDESS:
Beef or vegetarian?

FLY:
Oh just stick it all in the sick bag. I'll take it from there.

END.

Here's how I'd end the first one

LION:
Vegetarian please.

Stewardess:
Are you sure?

LION:
Yeah, there's one right next to me

THE LION EATS THE ANTELOPE NEXT TO HIM

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ June 4 2010, 12:25 AM BST

Here's how I'd end the first one

LION:
Vegetarian please.

Stewardess:
Are you sure?

LION:
Yeah, there's one right next to me

THE LION EATS THE ANTELOPE NEXT TO HIM

View original

I like the original with Steve's ending. This wraps it all up nicely.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ June 4 2010, 12:25 AM BST

LION:
Vegetarian please.

Stewardess:
Are you sure?

LION:
Yeah, there's one right next to me

THE LION EATS THE ANTELOPE NEXT TO HIM

View original

Damn it Steve that's a good one. So the second one is a lot poorer than the first? I think it works better for me when I don't think too much and just write something ( like in the first version). Hmmmmmm, thanks Steve and Badge, plenty for me to think about