British Comedy Guide

David Laws - that statement in full

A MEDIA SCRUM. CHIEF SECRETARY TO THE TREASURY DAVID LAWS APPROACHES THE MICROPHONE AND READS A PREPARED STATEMENT.

DAVID LAWS:
I have been hiding a secret since around 2001. I am a Conservative. My Conservatism has been unknown to both family and friends throughout that time.

In 2010 the rules were changed to allow Liberal Democrats into Government despite losing seats in the election. I felt it was my duty to keep my Conservatism to myself during this period for the stability of the country, and to get rid of Brown.

During the election campaign I was opposed to making £6bn cuts this year. As I have recently announced £6.2bn cuts rather than £6bn, I do not consider my position to be inconsistent. However, I now accept that this was open to interpretation. But it's not my fault - I was left a note saying there's no money left.

I am an intensely private person. I made the decision to keep my political beliefs private in case they caught me out, and I believed that was my right. Clearly that cannot now remain the case.

My motivation throughout has been to grasp onto a position of power that my status in UK politics hardly deserves. I regret this situation deeply, and apologise fully.

I have also referred myself to the Daily Telegraph investigation unit.

END

Its okay Badge. But think it might not flow as well as it might.

Your best punch line is your first line- I am a conservative.

I think you need to find a way to go up a gear after then.

Thanks BF. I should point out though that this is the actual transcript.

Quote: Badge @ May 29 2010, 5:59 PM BST

Thanks BF. I should point out though that this is the actual transcript.

You know what, I half went to check! :D

The opening para is funny, after that it all becomes a bit Laboured.

Nice and a good joke. But it could do with a twist?

Excellent.

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