Hi again,
Apologies for length of email, though I did then think that it's very easy to ignore the post and go to another.
I posted up a radio play beginning, a bit Sam Spade in fairness, and it was a little dull and I was going for too many shallow jokes, the sort that can be applied to any 2d character.
As a result, maybe less jokes, but a funnier situation here. I'm toying with making Castella a bit of a book worm type, too.
All comments are greatly appreciated
CASTELLA (narrating)
The drizzle, mixing with eight years grime, oozed down my window pane as I cooled my forehead upon it. A distorted vision reflected in the slick but my eyes refused to focus. It was better that way.
FX A knock at the door, followed by it swinging open.
The perfume hit me first, an explosion at the vivisectionists'. Invisible, fragranced fingers whirled me around by the nostrils to see a woman in my office. I rubbed my eyes. This one was real.
SAM
Hi.
CASTELLA (N)
I knocked back the last of my drink, only to find there was nothing left. Our eyes locked through the bottom of my empty glass.
CASTELLA
(mumbles )
SAM
I'm sorry?
CASTELLA (N)
I took the glass from my mouth and spoke again.
CASTELLA
I said 'Hi'.
SAM
I didn't think you'd recognise me.
CASTELLA
I don't.
SAM
Using the window as an Alka-Seltzer again, Castella?
CASTELLA (N)
I try to live the stereotype, it's why I got into the game in the first place. But a bad analogy goes though me like the hot knife that's gonna scald your hand.
CASTELLA
Are you going to leave me in suspense, Lady?
CASTELLA (N)
She lit a cigarette and sat backwards in the chair. Long legs, long hair and a long exhale. Apparently she was.
F/XA cigarette packet is pushed across a table.
SAM
Your brand.
CASTELLA
Not any more. Listen, I'm sorry, I drink. A lot. I'm not gonna be able to place you.
SAM
I like the way the muscle works your jaw when you're angry.
CASTELLA (N)
Truth be told, it was a little rude to strike a cigarette in a man's office unbidden, but she was just about attractive enough to get away with it.
CASTELLA
Are we just going to dwell in this memory hole, or have you came here with a purpose?
CASTELLA (N)
She reached down her long, elegant leg, slowly, take my eyes with her. Her shoes were stylish, her tights with sheen. She slowly removed it and I breathed out suddenly. Her big toe was missing.
SAM
You work with a guy for seven years, you break bread, you'd think you'd be entitled a little memory.
CASTELLA
Sam?! But, I thought, that, you know, you were a man?
SAM
I was. Now I'm not. Nothing simpler. Now give me a kiss.
CASTELLA (N)
Sam bounded over and flung his arms around me. A minute ago, that would've made my morning. Now...
FX The door swings open.
SAM
Jesus! You followed me!
CASTELLA
What the Hell do you think...
CASTELLA (N)
Well I saw what he thought as he grabbed me by the throat.
SAM
Jack, get out.
JACK
You've been having fun, have you? Have you? You saw her norks? You like them norks?
CASTELLA
You know this guy?
JACK
Funny. Funny man, sense of humour. I'm not funny though, am I Sam? Is that what you want? You want funny?
SAM
Castella, this is my husband.
JACK
Yeah, yeah, that's right, I remember, I was forgetting.
CASTELLA
Does he know about us?
JACK
You're not clever though. Funny. Funny, funny, funny, but you're not clever. I've got eyes, haven't I? I can see. I know about you two.
SAM
He doesn't mean that, Jack. Do you?
CASTELLA
God no, I mean about our history.
SAM
Ah, Jesus.
JACK
There's a history is there? Good. Good, now I know. Let's get it all out, eh? Let's get it all out in the open.