British Comedy Guide

New Dr Who deleted intro scene.

INT THE TARDIS
SFX: TARDIS LANDING SOUND

Amy: (Checking the screen) This doesn't look like Glasgow or Cardiff?

Doctor:
Hold on... I just need to be... a little bit ... distracted and... far away with a subtle... layer of... mystery and...

Amy:
Doctor?

Doctor:
Bang! Energetic & childlike ... lets go.... Come on Amy!

THEY EXIT THE TARDIS
AND STAND FACING A DENSE FORESTED AREA

Amy:
Where are we Doctor?

Doctor:
Where are we.... Indeed! That is the question? Are we in a fun light hearted romp, or are we in an altogether darker more dangerous fun light hearted romp.

Amy:
I suppose there's only one way to find out!

THE DOCTOR FLASHES A SMILE AND LIFTS HIS SONIC SCREWDRIVER ALOFT. IT MAKES A HIGH PITCHED NOISE AND THE TREES PART TO LEAVE A PATHWAY

Amy:
Wow! Impressive tool

Doctor:
Nice innuendo, now! Come on! We've got to make sure we stick together no matter what, until I let you wander off a bit later.

THEY WALK ALONG THE PATHWAY UNTIL SUDDENLY WE SEE A LOOK OF TERROR ON AMYS FACE AND THEN WE SEE A BOULDER HURTLING THEIR WAY

Amy:
Doctor look out!

THE DOCTOR SPINS AROUND AND AIMS HIS SONIC SCREWDRIVER AT THE ROCK WHICH THEN SHATTERS INTO A MILLION PIECES.

DOCTOR:
Manic.... Eccentric.... Alonzi! I mean Geronimo! ....Sonic always beats Rock! HA!

Amy:
It's incredible all the things that Sonic Screwdriver thing can do.

DOCTOR:
Hold on Amy... less flirty... a bit more serious... there's something not quite right about this foliage

STARTS SCANNING THE PLANTS WITH THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER

Amy:
I mean it really does do anything that may otherwise be difficult or require an ingenious explanation.

DOCTOR:
Distracted, pensive... & ever so versatile...These aren't organic Amy, these are robotic! We're in more Danger than I thought.

Amy:
Just don't drop your screwdriver we'll be fine.

DOCTOR:
Driven... Authoratitive... Quick we need to get back to the Tardis before that Crack of yours appears again.

Amy:
Alright, Alright, I'll put some leggings on.

DOCTOR:
It's about time we did that running bit!

THEY RUN AWAY FROM NO'ONE BACK TOWARDS THE TARDIS.

Amy:
Doctor? You know how that Screwdriver seems to be able to do anything that you want it to

Doctor:
Broad smile ...knowing look..... Amy?

Amy:
I couldn't borrow it for 10 minutes could I?

Doctor:
It's a Kids show Amy.

TO CAMERA
But a Damn good one !

THUMBS UP
Right Stotty?

THE NEW THEME TUNE STARTS BUT YOU HARDLY NOTICE AS IT'S A BIT RUBBISH .

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 13 2010, 9:02 PM BST

DOCTOR:
Driven... Authoratitive... Quick we need to get back to the Tardis before that Crack of yours appears again.

Amy:
Alright, Alright, I'll put some leggings on.

Laughing out loud

Very accurate dirty pastiche. No doubt you dress up from time to time in a floppy hat and take your missus K9-style.

It's safer than doing Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates anyway.

Laughing out loud

I do have a scarf & a bag of Jelly Babies.
That's all I'm saying.

Lol.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 13 2010, 9:02 PM BST

Amy:
Doctor? You know how that Screwdriver seems to be able to do anything that you want it to

Doctor:
Broad smile ...knowing look..... Amy?

Amy:
I couldn't borrow it for 10 minutes could I?

Doctor:
It's a Kids show Amy.

Fun stuff, though Moffat beat you to the sonic screwdriver as vibrator joke by some 11 years, when Hugh Grant regenerated into Joanna Lumley.

THIRTEENTH DOCTOR: Well never mind. We can still rattle around the universe, fighting monsters and saving planets. What could be more fun? My best friend by my side, my trusty old TARDIS and, of course...
(She pulls out a familiar object.)
...my sonic screwdriver.
(She switches it on and it begins to vibrate.)
Ooh look, it's got three settings!
EMMA: Doctor, stop that!
(EMMA snatches it off the DOCTOR and storms off.)
MASTER: Doctor, I have to say you are rather gorgeous.
THIRTEENTH DOCTOR: I'm not bad, am I? And come to think of it, you're a great deal more attractive than I remember.
MASTER: Why, thank you.
DOCTOR: Tell me, why do they call you "the Master"?
MASTER: I'll explain later.
(The MASTER bursts into manic laughter as they walk off down the corridor, arm in arm.)

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