British Comedy Guide

Alligator Eats iTunes Page 2

Quote: Godot Taxis @ May 10 2010, 1:23 AM BST

Give up wanking to take English lessons? You don't want much do you? I've choked more chickens than Colonel Saunders. I'm in too deep to give it up now.

I don't even understand what you're saying here, but please don't enlighten me.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ May 10 2010, 1:23 AM BST

No feedback is truly useless.

I'll happily concede I was wrong and that you are correct on this point. I now know that you, and several others here, don't find my material funny. Only one person gave me something I could do to improve. I've sat at a performance with others who laughed themselves silly while I never cracked a smile; I've laughed at stuff that no one else found funny; and I've laughed along with the crowd. There is no formula.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ May 10 2010, 1:23 AM BST

You make the mistake a lot of amateurs make - blame the audience when they don't laugh. It's your fault if they don't laugh, not theirs. Get some better material, split your pants - but don't blame the audience.

I never blamed anyone for not liking my material. I just don't like yours either. If I can't make you laugh, I don't blame you or me. It's no big loss, nor is it a great discovery. My material has provoked laughter from strangers and frowns from friends. Constructive criticism, such as that which was offered by sootyj, is always welcome. In your case all I learned is that you don't like my stuff. All I know is that you guys don't get it. And that's okay. I'm just trying to promote my podcast, and maybe find the rare person who gets it.

Remember, you are not the authority on comedy. Nor am I. But none of you are particularly funny, literate, or clever either -- so I have to take your reaction with a grain of halt. Just because you don't like my material, doesn't mean it won't be funny elsewhere. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But I'm certainly within my rights, and following a long tradition of struggling comedians who are heckled, to heckle back -- at least where I come from. If you can make fun of me, I can certainly return the favor. If you can dish it out, you'll have to expect it to come flying back.

So, here's back at ya! Lighten up, mate! I'm sure the hemorrhoids will shrink in a few days.

Quote: Dolittle @ May 11 2010, 10:55 AM BST

...But none of you are particularly funny, literate, or clever either -- so I have to take your reaction with a grain of halt.

Actually, it's 'none of you is particularly funny...' as 'none' is singular. Maybe I don't need those English lessons after all!

Quote: Dolittle @ May 11 2010, 10:55 AM BST

But none of you are particularly funny, literate, or clever either -- so I have to take your reaction with a grain of halt.

Also, so long as you're trying to assert your intelligence over others, do brush up on your idioms first. The word you're looking for is "salt".

A hinegary response Bussell?

Quote: sootyj @ May 12 2010, 9:10 AM BST

A hinegary response Bussell?

Quote: David Bussell @ May 12 2010, 8:08 AM BST

Also, so long as you're trying to assert your intelligence over others, do brush up on your idioms first. The word you're looking for is "salt".

Actually I meant Halt of the earth, as in bury it. Stop now. That's all (almost). You guys get the last word, but not the last laugh. I'm outta here. Goodbye (almost). You're all a real class act. You is. you is. None of you is! me no know no good grmmer needer! But me knows me local slang. me do. me do do.
Pirate

Does big put-on ring any bells? Fart any smells? . . . . . . . . ..

Top 3 worst excuses for making a mistake ever.

3 I didn not have penetrative sex with that woman, she merely sucked my cock.
2 I thought there were weapons of mass destruction.

And at number 1

Quote: Dolittle @ May 15 2010, 9:54 AM BST

Actually I meant Halt of the earth, as in bury it.

I'm dyslexic but even I wouldn't go for such a feeble excuse.

Well this is all very peculiar.

Fun though.

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