British Comedy Guide

General Election 2010 Page 93

Quote: zooo @ May 6 2010, 1:04 PM BST

If someone spat on David Cameron, Clegg or even Brown, there's no way they'd fly into a fury and start a punch up.

John Prescott, on the other hand...

Not a good day to be a UKIP candidate with one dying and another involved in a plane crash.

The guy who died is called John Boakes who has apparently 'stood down' as a candidate...

http://www.yournextmp.com/candidates/john_boakes

Apologies for the gallows humour but 'fell down' would perhaps be a more accurate description.

Quote: Aaron @ May 6 2010, 1:07 PM BST

John Prescott, on the other hand...

:D
The very definition of neanderthal.

Quote: Tuumble @ May 6 2010, 1:09 PM BST

Not a good day to be a UKIP candidate with one dying and another involved in a plane crash.

The guy who died is called John Boakes who has apparently 'stood down' as a candidate...

http://www.yournextmp.com/candidates/john_boakes

Apologies for the gallows humour but 'fell down' would perhaps be a more accurate description.

He died? Yikes. How?

And why wasn't it Kilroy Silk?

Quote: chipolata @ May 6 2010, 12:57 PM BST

God, that was awful! Who the f**k buys The Sun with a straight face!

Straight face? You couldn't level that description at departed Labour MP, Robin Cook.

"Eyes to the left, nose to the right..."

Quote: Tuumble @ May 6 2010, 1:15 PM BST

"Eyes to the left, nose to the right..."

:D

Quote: Aaron @ May 6 2010, 1:20 PM BST

:D

'Kinell! I've just noticed that you're over 60,000 posts! Yikes!

The only one of the candidates who's qualifications from uni were published on line are Gordon's who got a 1st class from Edinburgh.

He's also the only one who stayed onto get a masters and entered uni at only 16 after having been hot housed due to his amazing brain.

He was quite clearly the best educated.

Albeit Clegg went to the most expensive school.

Quote: sootyj @ May 6 2010, 1:35 PM BST

The only one of the candidates who's qualifications from uni were published on line are Gordon's who got a 1st class from Edinburgh.

He's also the only one who stayed onto get a masters and entered uni at only 16 after having been hot housed due to his amazing brain.

He was quite clearly the best educated.

Pity he's such a psychopathic, sociopathic moron now then, eh?

nuh but a well educated one.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ May 6 2010, 5:11 AM BST

Godot suggests you vote Labour today.

Here's a list of some of the things Labour has done since they got in. (Note the Tories opposed most of these).

Introduced paternity leave for fathers
Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament
Devolved power to the Welsh Assembly
Re-introduced Mayor and city-wide government for London

So you think they're good things?

Paternity leave is in the main impractical. How do small companies deal with this?

The Scots and Welsh have the opportunity to vote in our policies but we have no control over theirs.

Quote: Aaron @ May 6 2010, 1:22 AM BST

Christ, you really are a Lib Dem, aren't you? The point is that they - and thousands like them - CAN'T afford to live in properties that are worth £1 million. They don't have that kind of money. But the properties WOULD BE worth that much if they were to be sold, now. My grandparents' house cost them just £3,000 about 40 years ago. They've long paid off that mortgage, so it doesn't cost them anything. What it would cost to buy now has absolutely no relation to their finances.

I think your figures are a bit flawed there.

My parents bought a house for £17,000 in 1975 in Ashtead which is in one of the most expensive areas in the country. It is now worth about £350,000 so I reckon a million pound house would've dcost about £50,000 then.

Quote: EllieJP @ May 6 2010, 10:00 AM BST

Just watching the facebook "I've voted" numbers go up and up. Quite incredible. At 216000 now.

It's at 600,000 now.

Well thank goodness for Facebook. Rolling eyes

Quote: zooo @ May 6 2010, 1:04 PM BST

If someone spat on David Cameron, Clegg or even Brown, there's no way they'd fly into a fury and start a punch up.
That's the difference between the civilised and the brain-dead neanderthal.

I'm not a violent person, but anyone even bordering on adulthood who purposely spits on me is going to get a knuckle sandwich. I'd expect most men to respond similarly.

Quote: Chappers @ May 6 2010, 2:09 PM BST

I think your figures are a bit flawed there.

My parents bought a house for £17,000 in 1975 in Ashtead which is in one of the most expensive areas in the country. It is now worth about £350,000 so I reckon a million pound house would've dcost about £50,000 then.

Like I said, I don't know exactly how much their house it worth, I'm just using it as an example of long-term residents. But I do know that it cost that little in the mid 1960s (IIRC), and I'm also aware of the huge boost in house prices in the area just in the past decade. If you're purchasing somewhere that's already expensive, then you're looking at a big increase in value, but a lesser % against the purchase price than if you bought when the area was poor.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ May 6 2010, 5:11 AM BST

Godot suggests you vote Labour today.

Here's a list of some of the things Labour has done since they got in. (Note the Tories opposed most of these).

Banned handguns
Banned foxhunting
Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals
Introduced a National Minimum Wage and raised it
Re-introduced matrons to hospitals
Introduced NHS Direct
Introduced paternity leave for fathers
Scrapped Clause 28
Introduced Civil Partberships
Lowered the age of consent for gays to 16
Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament
Devolved power to the Welsh Assembly
Restored devolved government to Northern Ireland
Free breast cancer screening for all women aged between 50-70
Free off peak local bus travel for over-60s
Free eye test for over 60s
Free TV licences for over 75s
Free nursery places for every three and four-year-olds
Introduced paid holidays for temps
Re-introduced Mayor and city-wide government for London
Introduced £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & up to £300 for over-80s
Introduced child tax credit and raised child benefit by 26%
Free entry to Museums and galleries

In 1996 it cost £13.50 for one adult to visit the Natural History Museum in Kensington. £13.50! It's now free.

They also didn't raise VAT. Not once.

VAT was introduced by the Tories in 1973. Thatcher raised it from 8% to 15%. John Major took it up to 17.5% where it has remained. If the Tories get in they will increase it. They have raised it every term since theyintroducedit.

Luckily they won't get in. I predict a Labour majority of 4 seats (ie they lose 48 seats) :P

I like the way you roll, Godot.

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