British Comedy Guide

The Heath

Witch #1
When shall we three meet again?

Witch #2
In thunder, lightning or in rain?

Witch #3
(Beat) On a bus? On a train?

Witch #1
(sighs) No. Ahem. When the hurly burly's done.

Witch #2
When the battles lost and won.

Witch #3
Bun...run...pun...oh, settled by sword, settled by gun?

Witch #1
It's the year Ten-pissing-Forty, what the f**k's a gun?

Witch #2
Or a train? Or a bus?

Witch #3
Yeah, but we're witches. Look. Wooooo-ooooooh. We can see the future.

Witch #2
Yes, but no-one else does; they'll think you're a mentalist.

Witch #1
Please. Witches. Fair is foul, and foul is fair.

Witch #3
Oh, but that's alright then, is it?! What does it even mean? It's like 'yes means no'.

Witch #1
What?

Witch #3
The 'yes means no, no means yes' game. Are you a knobend?

Witch #1
No.

Witch #3
Ha! Yes means no! You're a knobend.

Witch #2
Sorry. She's on work experience. Sheila vouched for her.

Witch #1
Right, Witch Number Three, it's very important that you listen to me. What we do, and what we say? They have to rhyme in every way.

Witch #2
Using words not invented yet, is cheating, Three, that we shan't let.

Witch #1
So work with us to set the scene, rhyming words that have always been.

Witch #2
A scene is set with sounds alike, if you can't commit, then on your bike.

(BEAT)

Witch #3

It's the year Ten-pissing-Forty. What the f**k's a bike?

This made me smile, flowed nicely but the punch seems to be a repeat of the 'It's the year Ten-pissing-Forty, what the f**k's a gun?' so kind of detracts. Still, clever and done well. :)

EDIT: I think maybe you might mean it and I see what you mean. I think. I can feel myself typing myself into a black hole of confusion...must stop now. :$

Really liked this. Good job.

Bo.

Cheers both.

Yup, it was intentional Scatchyr, I've got the crap witch saying it out of spite; but I only settled on that when I couldn't see another way out of the sketch - so it may well jar. If I come up with a better idea, I'll give it an edit. Ta.

Great idea - I feel there could be a few tinkers to be had, but well delivered in the main - very good

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