Christian missionary &...

Hi dear admins and members

I liked this video

and I wish u enjoy it 2

Evil conversion removed

Now if you'll excuse me, I must have some bacon.

Is there rule about religious proseltysing on these threads?

Or are we all fundamentally stupid?

I think this'll get moved, five minutes in and still no custard pies... where's the comedy in that?

I would say please use proper English and grammar, but I doubt you'll be back!

Nice edit Aaron.

mmmmmmm

of course I am the one above ,

sorry for disturbing u..

let me tell u why I sent this post??

I wish u to be picked from hell to paradise,

God sent prophets who we love very much (Moses,Jesus,Muhammed....) peace be upon all of them, and we should beleive in them and their teachings that are the orders from God..

Do u think that God created us for playing, having fun, joking , kidding and no mission to do?? and when we die it is the end?? do u think so??

NO, we were created to worship Him to be examed. who obey Him will Go to PARADISE and those who don't will go to hell.

plz read this poem

LAST BREATH

From those around I hear a Cry,
A muffled sob, a Hopeless sigh,
I hear their footsteps leaving slow,
And then I know my soul must Fly!
A chilly wind begins to blow,
Within my soul, from Head to Toe,
And then, Last Breath escapes my lips,
It's Time to leave. And I must Go!
So, it is True (But it's too Late)
They said: Each soul has its Given Date,
When it must leave its body's core,
And meet with its Eternal Fate.
Oh mark the words that I do say,
Who knows? Tomorrow could be your Day,
At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
Decide which now, Do NOT delay!
Come on my brothers let us pray
Decide which now, Do NOT delay!
Oh God! Oh God! I cannot see!
My eyes are Blind! Am I still Me
Or has my soul been led astray,
And forced to pay a Priceless Fee
Alas to Dust we all return,
Some shall rejoice, while others burn,
If only I knew that before
The line grew short, and came my Turn!
And now, as beneath the sod
They lay me (with my record flawed),
They cry, not knowing I cry worse,
For, they go home, I face my God!
Oh mark the words that I do say,
Who knows, Tomorrow could be your Day,
At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
Decide which now, Do NOT delay !
Come on my brothers let's pray
Decide which now, do not delay ....

and also u can watch this flash
Link removed

I want to help u , not morre than that, and sorry that u were disturbed

Muslim sister

This is great stuff.

Where do I sign up?

Can I have my virgins now?

********************

Thank You all

but I think the stupid one is this who don't think about his next life.. because this earth life is not more than 150 years ( for the oldest one) but the next life will not come to an end : )

But God won't ask you "why did u type wrongly??"

he will ask what did u do in ur life, in the chance I gave to you?

*************

No because they r only in the next life after doing what u deserve them by.

what do u think about paradise??
It is the reward from God to believers not for any one

This life is a big exam to be rewarded or punished in the next life..

****************

I forgot to tell that this forum is for chatting as u announce at the beginnig (Welcome, you clever thing, to the British Comedy Guide Forums. Now why not register an account (or login) and join us for a chat?)

Quote: om emran @ April 18 2010, 8:35 AM BST

mmmmmmm

of course I am the one above ,

sorry for disturbing u..

let me tell u why I sent this post??

I wish u to be picked from hell to paradise that is within my undergarments

God sent prphets who we love very much (Mercury, Kennry Everett, Alan Carr....) fluids be upon all of them, and we should ogle them and their beatings that are the orders from God..

t God created us for playing, having fun, joking , kidding and fisting to do?? and when we squirt it is the end?? do u think so??

NO, we were created to worship Jimmy Somerfield to be examined by him. The goto PARADISE (a men only disco in Wolverhampton) and those who don't will go to HELL (an illegal extreme S&M club in Smethwick.

plz read this poetry

LAST BREATH

From those around I hear a Cry,
A muffled sob, a Hopeless sigh,
I hear their footsteps leaving slow,
Why did he leave we just did blow?
And then I know my soul must Fly!
A chilly wind begins to blow,
last night my anus did grow
And then, Last Breath escapes my lips,
He had to leave. My cock who'll blow?
So, it is True (I cold masturbate?)
They said: Each asrsehole has I do rate,
When it must leave its body's core,
And meet with its fist that grates.
Oh mark the words that I do say,
And enjoy my filthy golden spray.

and also u can watch this flash
Removed

I want to help u , not morre than that, and sorry that u were disturbed

Muslim sister/brother

.

View original

What a saucy fellow!

Quote: om emran @ April 18 2010, 8:52 AM BST

********************

Thank You all

but I think the stupid one is this who don't think about his next life.. because this earth life is not more than 150 years ( for the oldest one) but the next life will not come to an end : )

But God won't ask you "why did u type wrongly??"

he will ask what did u do in ur life, in the chance I gave to you?

*************

No because they r only in the next life after doing what u deserve them by.

what do u think about paradise??
It is the reward from God to believers not for any one

This life is a big exam to be rewarded or punished in the next life..

****************

I forgot to tell that this forum is for chatting as u announce at the beginnig (Welcome, you clever thing, to the British Comedy Guide Forums. Now why not register an account (or login) and join us for a chat?)

View original

But isn't God all forgiving? And hence will forgive you?

I always got extra time in exams, will I get extra time in this one?

Are we not just carbon compounds, made like this because our star is the right size and the right distance away from us for life to start?

Anyway must rush, I've got to give Mass in a few minutes.

Quote: sootyj @ April 18 2010, 8:53 AM BST

What a saucy fellow!

View original

Don't be rude Sooty!

Look the man's been banned once and then returned - it's obvious this is the second coming!

Quote: om emran @ April 18 2010, 8:35 AM BST

Do u think that God created us for playing, having fun, joking , kidding

View original

Yes.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT RELIGION BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MUSLIMS

PLZ,READ THE FOLLOWING TRANSLATED VERSES OF THE HOLY QURAN

115. "Did ye then think that We had created you in jest, and that ye would not be brought back to Us (for account)?"

116. Therefore exalted be Allah, the King, the Reality: there is no God but He, the Lord of the Throne of Honour!

117. If anyone invokes, besides Allah, Any other god, he has no authority therefor; and his reckoning will be only with his Lord! and verily the Unbelievers will fail to win through!

118. So say: "O my Lord! grant Thou forgiveness and mercy for Thou art the Best of those who show mercy!"

Spam link removed

Quote: om emran @ April 18 2010, 10:32 AM BST

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT RELIGION BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MUSLIMS

View original

Om Emran, Before you keep posting you need to understand that not everyone cares for various reasons mostly because yes people aren't muslims and many people on these boards are in fact athiests, if your mission is to try and save our eternal souls on a comedy forum, gods set you a big task and it's one I would leave be, your account has been banned once and it will be banned again.

Please preach your religious scripture elsewhere.

I don't care about religion because it's all untrue and you know it. Please don't try to drag everyone down to your level. All religion is bunk and against humanity.