British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 2,119

Mmmmm the used bullet animation is looking alright except they continue spinning to long...Stupid deflector must of gone a bit squiffy.

This just happened. I thought I'd walk home from the railway station since it was nice. As I was walking down this path a youngish gingery man with a red face and beard approached me.

GINGER: "All right mate, I wouldn't normally stop anybody, ask anybody who knows me, but could you lend me thirty pence. That's all, thirty pence."
CHIP: "No, sorry. I haven't got any money."
GINGER: "F**k off then you c**t! You c**ts are all the f**king same! CUNTS!"

And he continued shouting in that vein as I walked away. Ah, modern Britain... Rolling eyes

Beggars are too afraid to tap me up for money because I dress so scruffily that they're afraid of me getting in a tap for their cash first.

Quote: chipolata @ April 17 2010, 4:38 PM BST

Seemingly endless long summer days do depress me. And, like my hero Travis Bickle, I do believe bad weather and rain keeps the scum off the streets.

I don't know who Travis Bickle is, but I concur.

Quote: DaButt @ April 17 2010, 4:52 PM BST

Just received a Facebook message from my ex-wife who I haven't spoken to in more than a decade. Damn this technology ...

Is this the kids' mother? If so, how did you manage so long!?

Quote: chipolata @ April 17 2010, 6:14 PM BST

GINGER: "All right mate, I wouldn't normally stop anybody, ask anybody who knows me, but could you lend me thirty pence. That's all, thirty pence."
CHIP: "No, sorry. I haven't got any money."
GINGER: "F**k off then you c**t! You c**ts are all the f**king same! CUNTS!"

And he continued shouting in that vein as I walked away. Ah, modern Britain... Rolling eyes

Really?

I'd of told him to go f**k himself the ginger twat. Although when I was in Lpool I did give a guy a couple of quid to get rid of him. But he was rather polite just smelly.

Quote: chipolata @ April 17 2010, 6:14 PM BST

This just happened. I thought I'd walk home from the railway station since it was nice. As I was walking down this path a youngish gingery man with a red face and beard approached me.

GINGER: "All right mate, I wouldn't normally stop anybody, ask anybody who knows me, but could you lend me thirty pence. That's all, thirty pence."
CHIP: "No, sorry. I haven't got any money."
GINGER: "F**k off then you c**t! You c**ts are all the f**king same! CUNTS!"

And he continued shouting in that vein as I walked away. Ah, modern Britain... Rolling eyes

What a charming fellow.

I hate our society. Unimpressed

Lend?

A few years ago I was on a 3 week back-packing jaunt around the Britain and Ireland and I was in Dublin. By this time I was looking pretty scruffy as I hadn't shaved and I'd spent the night on the ferry from Anglessey.

I was stopped by one guy who asked me for some money and feeling in a good mood I gave him my loose change but it wasn't until he walked off I thought: "Hang on! He's better dressed than I am!"

I hate the ones who make up some elaborate story, pretending not to be a beggar.

Quote: Aaron @ April 17 2010, 7:09 PM BST

I don't know who Travis Bickle is, but I concur.

De Niro's character in "Taxi Driver."

Image

Is this the kids' mother? If so, how did you manage so long!?

Yep. I've had custody of the kids since they were 1 and 2 years old. She's had very little contact with them over the last 2 decades, but I guess she's trying to change that now that they're grown and she doesn't have to worry about being hit up for child support payments.

It was actually a very nice e-mail. It'll be harder for me to be rude to her at our daughter's wedding in June. :(

Quote: zooo @ April 17 2010, 7:22 PM BST

I hate the ones who make up some elaborate story, pretending not to be a beggar.

There's an obviously homeless drug addict who wears what she pretends is office attire and carries a small gasoline can while pretending to need money for gas. She can't carry on for long at any particular intersection, so she moves around a lot. I've seen her all over the city.

Quote: Gavin @ April 17 2010, 7:11 PM BST

Really?

I'd of told him to go f**k himself the ginger twat. Although when I was in Lpool I did give a guy a couple of quid to get rid of him. But he was rather polite just smelly.

What I regret - because I had a pocket full of change - was not taking it out and lobbing it into the road. Just to prove I had the money and would rather throw it away than give it to a twat.

Ellie is spending Saturday night avoiding alcohol and doing her washing. :)

Quote: DaButt @ April 17 2010, 7:25 PM BST

There's an obviously homeless drug addict who wears what she pretends is office attire and carries a small gasoline can while pretending to need money for gas. She can't carry on for long at any particular intersection, so she moves around a lot. I've seen her all over the city.

Yeh Sarah Palin is a right moocher.

I quite liked Bill Bryson's response when a beggar asked him if he had any small change.

'No I don't. But thank you very much for asking.'

I just learned something new from Wikipedia: the United Kingdom is the only country to have successfully developed and then abandoned a satellite launch capability.

Yeh that whole period in the 50s when we still thought we were a big player

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