The debate over Chip's missing 3 hours bought him back. 
Status report Page 2,110
Quote: SlagA @ April 15 2010, 2:38 PM BSTHello to the Big H.
Hi Slag 
Quote: sootyj @ April 15 2010, 2:38 PM BSTF**kin' hell!
Welcome back, what tempted you?
Just moseyin' through town y'all. On my way to Nowheresville. Thought I'd stop by for a glass o' moonshine and a night with a coupla 2 dollar whores. Yeehaw.
Quote: Lee Henman @ April 15 2010, 2:47 PM BSTJust moseyin' through town y'all. On my way to Nowheresville. Thought I'd stop by for a glass o' moonshine and a night with a coupla 2 dollar whores. Yeehaw.
All two dollars will get you is me and SootyJ - you have to shell out 4 for Chip and his "specialities."
Quote: SlagA @ April 15 2010, 3:17 PM BSTAll two dollars will get you is me and SootyJ - you have to shell out 4 for Chip and his "specialities."
If you do not rename your stale wanking sock something other than Sootyj. My client will have no recourse other than to sue you for £5 and a gobstopper.
A figure sufficent to bankrupt the entire Welsh Assembly.
Yours sincerely
Bastard Bastard and Wanker solicitors.
Quote: sootyj @ April 15 2010, 4:02 PM BSTIf you do not rename your stale wanking sock something other than Sootyj.
Dear SootyJ,
It has been bought to our attention that you have been spying on our client's rather secretive, sordid, and distasteful sexual practices: as evidenced in "rename your stale wanking sock something other than Sootyj."
My client will have no recourse other than to sue you for £5 and a gobstopper... and all videos, pictures, and transcripts that you may have regarding this matter.
Yours sincerely
Bastard Bastard and Wanker, solicitors.
Hat's off to Marc P for getting his picture on the front of this months Writing Magazine.
I like his new glasses.
And, yes, writing clearly changed the young Meg Rosoff's life, in more ways than he / she was to expect.
Quote: SlagA @ April 15 2010, 4:10 PM BSTDear SootyJ,
It has been bought to our attention that you have been spying on our client's rather secretive, sordid, and distasteful sexual practices: as evidenced in "rename your stale wanking sock something other than Sootyj."
My client will have no recourse other than to sue you for £5 and a gobstopper... and all videos, pictures, and transcripts that you may have regarding this matter.
Yours sincerely
Bastard Bastard and Wanker, solicitors.
Dear Welsh Assembly
Our client became aware of the abuse of his likeness, name and other areas of intellectual property. When he saw the said Mr SlaggA performing Men of Harlech, whilst abusing said sock on "A song for Wales."
The fact that said song was beaten by a drunken Tom Jones lighting his own farts, whilst dueting it's Not Unusual with Charlotte Church is immaterial.
We await the 5 pound note, the gobstopper, an apology and evidence said sock has been washed.
Yours with threats of violence
Bastard Bastard and Wanker, solicitors.
Quote: chipolata @ April 15 2010, 7:56 PM BSTHat's off to Marc P for getting his picture on the front of this months Writing Magazine.
I like his new glasses.
Quote: chipolata @ April 15 2010, 7:56 PM BSTHat's off to Marc P for getting his picture on the front of this months Writing Magazine.
I like his new glasses.
It clearly says Roskoff!
Quote: sootyj @ April 15 2010, 8:01 PM BSTDear Welsh Assembly
Our client became aware of the abuse of his likeness, name and other areas of intellectual property. When he saw the said Mr SlaggA performing Men of Harlech, whilst abusing said sock on "A song for Wales."
The fact that said song was beaten by a drunken Tom Jones lighting his own farts, whilst dueting it's Not Unusual with Charlotte Church is immaterial.
We await the 5 pound note, the gobstopper, an apology and evidence said sock has been washed.
Yours with threats of violence
Bastard Bastard and Wanker, solicitors.
Dear Bastard Bastard and Wanker, solicitors.
Our client is most upset that you are now representing SootyJ who is now simultaneously the claimant, defendant, prosecution witness and defence witness.
Desist before this legal paradox creates a bureaucratic black hole that could potentially destroy the space-time continuum.
Yours with threats of Hollyoaks' repeats
Bastard Bastard and Wanker, solicitors.
Dear Bastard Bastard and Wanker Solicitors
You are a comedic creation of our clients Sootyj and therefore can not represent SlagA against him(who is all broke and on the sex none-offenders register).
As such we demand at the very least the gobstopper. And that your/ours/some ones client SlagA ceases and desists forthwith.
Yours sincerely
Bastard Bastard and Wanker Solicitors (and pant ironing service)
Quote: chipolata @ April 15 2010, 7:56 PM BSTHat's off to Marc P for getting his picture on the front of this months Writing Magazine.
I like his new glasses.
That just made me pop my pissbag.
Hahahah!!!!
Quote: sootyj @ April 15 2010, 8:26 PM BSTDear Bastard Bastard and Wanker Solicitors
You are a comedic creation of our clients Sootyj and therefore can not represent SlagA against him(who is all broke and on the sex none-offenders register).
As such we demand at the very least the gobstopper. And that your/ours/some ones client SlagA ceases and desists forthwith.
Yours sincerely
Bastard Bastard and Wanker Solicitors (and pant ironing service)
Dear Bastard Bastard and Wanker Solicitors
Not only are you a comedic creation of our clients Sootyj and Sootyj but SlagA is another of his comedic creations (although Sootyj freely admits SlagA isn't his best effort.)
The gobstopper is now residing in my / our / their desk - as is a certain foot garment that has defied all attempts to destroy it. It's leaving a slug-like trail as it moves across the desk. If SlagA isn't real then Sootyj must surely be the most fertile man in the western hemisphere.
Yours sincerely
Bastard Bastard and Wanker Solicitors (and panting-down-the-phone service)