Libdem future

WINSTON SMITH IS STRAPPED INTO THE TORTURE CHAIR IN ROOM 101

O'BRIAN IS RUBBING HIS HANDS WITH GLEE.

WINSTON
We thought it would be alright, they fooled us utterly.

O'BRIAN
And now they rule you, rule you with a reasonable iron fist in a moderate velvet glove.

WINSTON
But how, how? All I wanted was a protest vote against 20 years of bipartisan politics?

O'BRIAN
Oh you fool, you and 12 million other fools.

WINSTON
I thought proportional representation sounded fair.

O'BRIAN LAUGHS WICKEDLY.

O'BRIAN
Instead you condemned your selves to a 1000 years of liberal Democrat opression.
No other party will ever get an effective majority.

WINSTON
And those gangs of supereducated chavs in the secret police. How were we know that a educational income taxc would create the new SS?

O'BRIAN
Enough with this talk I've got a cage of rats here. They're as starved as our policies on budgetary reform. Now say it!

WINSTON
Aaarrrgghh! They must be starving. Ok I admit I've learned to love the European Union!

DAVID CAMERON WALKS ON.

DAVID
You've been warned. Voting liberals can lead to living in a futuristic scifi opressive state. Vote conservatives predictably evil.

I did not get the referenece to an educational income tax, and the line on budgetary reform confused a little as well; I would also find a different verb to 'starved' if you are using 'starving' in the next idea. It is a great idea though; tidy it up and you have a winner.

Shite I thought there big policy was an income tax reserved only for education.

Damnation and thanks.

It's quite good, but the Lib Dems turned me down for a job at the assembly today so I'm probably not entirely impartial in liking it. I maybe wouldn't explicitly give away the fact it's the liberal democrats you're talking about until the end when Cameron walks on, rather than saying their name here, "Instead you condemned yourselves to a 1000 years of liberal Democrat oppression". But what do I know.

Sounds good.

And what's this Libdem assembly? Is it like meerkats with 3rd way policies?

Quote: sootyj @ April 2 2010, 12:43 AM BST

Sounds good.

And what's this Libdem assembly? Is it like meerkats with 3rd way policies?

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The Welsh Assembly, the place where all important decisions relating to the matters of state in Wales are made

The pub?

Quote: sootyj @ April 2 2010, 12:00 PM BST

The pub?

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A very expensive pub

Quote: Mickeza @ April 2 2010, 11:58 AM BST

The Welsh Assembly, the place where all MIND-NUMBINGLY UNINTERESTING decisions (THAT WESTMINSTER DON'T WANT TO TOUCH WITH A SHITTY STICK OR CAN'T BE ARSED TO VOTE ON THEMSELVES) relating to Wales are made

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Couldn't have put it better myself.

Any 1984 sketch is going to get me reading. Liked this Soots as topical goes, liked the walk-on reveal, and shouldn't it end with Cameroon releasing the rats on Winston anyway?

Hey don't knock the Welsh Assembly it does important stuff; making sure Torchwood is filmed in Cardiff, raising money for Welsh programs no one watches and erm erm some help please?

Quote: sootyj @ April 2 2010, 3:31 PM BST

Hey don't knock the Welsh Assembly it does important stuff; making sure Torchwood is filmed in Cardiff, raising money for Welsh programs no one watches and erm erm some help please?

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Giving me shed loads of dosh for going to University and doing nothing for 3 years, without having to worry about top-up fees.

They pay for your university fees.

Ok Britain is officially the worst empire bloody ever. Why are we giving more money to our conquered territories?

I say we reinvade India for a start.