British Comedy Guide

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Cluedo.

A DETECTIVE WALKS INTO A WINDOWLESS ROOM AND SITS DOWN OPPOSITE A UNIFORMED POLICEMAN:

DT:
As you know I'm here to help with the Doctor Black Murder. So I want you to tell me everything you have so far.

PC:
It's a complete mystery at the moment sir.

DT:
Well you must have something, what was the murder weapon?

PC:
We're not entirely sure but we have narrowed down sir, it was either a Dagger.....

DT:
Ah the old Dagger! A deadly weapon indeed.

PC:
Or a Revolver, A rope, some lead piping, a spanner, or a candlestick

DT:
What! You've got it narrowed down to six murder weapons! Could you be any less specific? What did the autopsy say, what clues were found in the room?

PC:
To be honest sir, we're not sure what room it was either.

DT:
Not sure what room it was? Not sure what bloody room it was? Where did you find the body for Gods sake?

PC:
We do have it narrowed down to nine, The Ballroom, the Library....

DT:
For crying out loud! Do we at least have a suspect?

PC:
Not a suspect as such....

DT:
How many?

PC:
Six.

DT:
Six possible weapons, Six possible suspects, and nine possible rooms ... what kind of investigation are you running here?

PC:
It's been quite fun actually.

DT:
Don't play games with me, if we don't solve this then it will happen again, & again & again & it won't be fun believe me.

PC:
We do have an eye witness.

DT:
At last! Something concrete!

PC:
She thinks it was the Clergyman, she's coming in today for an ID parade.

CUT TO:
THE DETECTIVE & THE PC STANDING WITH AN OLD LADY IN FRONT OF A TWO WAY MIRROR.
WE PAN ACROSS AN IDENTITY PARADE OF FOUR PEOPLE IN VICAR COSTUMES AND THE FIFTH PERSON IS A LIFESIZE GREEN CLUEDO PIECE.

OLD LADY:
It's Number five, definitely number five, I'd recognize that face anywhere.

PC: (PULLS BLACK ENVELOPE OUT OF HIS TOP POCKET, AND TAKES A PEEK)
I Think she may be right.

END

Nice, I especially liked the visual ID parade.

There's nothing wrong with it, per se, but it seems a little bit too linear to me. There is no real diversion from how I would have expected a Cluedo sketch to play out. If you know what I mean?

:)

EDIT: Maybe it's just that it is too much like what I might have done, not necessarily that it is that predictable. Errr

I am inclined to agree with Adam; the sketch is well executed but somehow does not quite take flight.

That's fair enough, I liked it when I wrote it but it's probably not that funny.

It's not that it's not funny, it is the level of obviousness I suppose (that isn't meant to sound harsh). But acted out I'm sure I wouldn't really be preoccupied with how obvious it is and would ultimately laugh at the reveal. (I really should restrict myself to ten words on critique)

:)

It did raise a smile, particularly:

DT:
...what kind of investigation are you running here?

PC:
It's been quite fun actually.

I guess maybe I was expecting a bit more of a pay-off.

I think it's great.

I did like this, some really good lines and I enjoyed the envelope idea but the Cluedo theme was a bit obvious for me, particularly compared to your other stuff like the Wolves Sketch, which was highly original and very funny.

It is a good sketch but suffers by being compared to your other work. :)

Really good, but would benefit from being a bit tighter (for which also read shorter) - though no one should edit it other than you. Distill, distill, but I really liked it.

Agree with Empty - The ID parade and the envelope is the kernel and good fun. The easiest part to whittle down is the number of rooms and suspects section. As we know before-hand where it's going. After the establishing of 6 suspects, I'd perhaps do a cut to: (if it were a video) with the head honcho saying "six suspects, six murder weapons, what kind of investigation ... etc"

Personally, I'd reword the opening to remove the phrase "As you know..." as it's exposition.

Quote: SlagA @ April 1 2010, 10:28 AM BST

Agree with Empty

Well, it IS April 1st.

ID parade is top notch. Thought it flowed well and made me laugh. Can see this being even funnier acted it out.

I was deeply disappointed there was no reference whatsoever to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue though! that is brilliant.

Quote: Craig H @ April 1 2010, 11:18 AM BST

I was deeply disappointed there was no reference whatsoever to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue though!

There was. The title.

Very clever idea and executed brilliantly. More great stuff from that Sunshine fella.

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