Joe is visiting his Grandma at a Care Home.
Grandma: You know, dear, your brother was showing me one of those computer videos the other day. It was terribly unhygienic.
Joe: I thought I told you not to watch anything he shows you, Gran.
Grandma: Oh it was nothing compared to what we used to do in college!
Joe: ...Ok Grandma I think you need some rest alright?
Grandma: Well I wanted to tell you about the video darling. Its been bugging me terribly - I can't rest.
Joe: (hesitantly) Ok, tell me then.
Grandma: Well, there was two girls in a room, not wearing much.
Joe: Right..
Grandma: And then one of them gets out a cup.
Joe: (in his head) What the hell has Pete done?
Grandma: And she's caressing it in a very sexual way, Joe, I'd never known such a thing.
Joe: (in his head) Oh f**k, oh f**k.
Grandma: And then the one with the cup goes over to the sink and fills it with water. And she drinks it.
Joe: (in his head) Oh f- I don't remember this bit..
Grandma: So then once she's drunk it, the other girl uses the same cup! Had they never heard of washing it, Joe? Honestly. (She shifts a little and closes her eyes)
Joe: Yes, sounds horrible, Grandma. (smiling to himself)
Grandma: Well not that bad.
Joe: I guess not. (Beaming a relieved smile)
Grandma: - I'll tell you what is bad. Yesterday Maureen wheeled her chair into the day room and asked me to film her taking it from that handsome young care worker..what's his name? Oh yes, Andrew, I can't think of anyone here he hasn't ploughed.
Joe: What?!
(Joe looks round and sees Maureen smiling back at him)
Maureen: He was ever so big!
