The Ad Makers.

A sketch I wrote a while back, based around Cat, creative director, a character we use in a sitcom.

SINCE EDITED TO REMOVE OPENING SCENE AND THE BABY MD - AS THEY WERE A LEGACY OF A WRITING BRIEF AND ONLY DILUTED THE FOCUS.

INT - BOARDROOM.
CLIENT, FEMALE CREATIVE DIRECTOR, AND TWO MEN, AD-MAN AND BROWN-NOSE, DISCUSS IDEAS FOR AN AD CAMPAIGN.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Now, before we begin our ideas bukake. I've an issue with target audience. Too restrictive. You're ignoring 50% of your prospects: men.

CLIENT:
But we make panty pads.

BROWN-NOSE:
You're not thinking strategic overhaul; bottom line revamp; revisit, revisit, and then...

CLIENT:
Revisit?

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Now you're thinking like an ad-man. But not this, ad-man, baby. I'm already out the box, and running up-field, stretching the mindset of Generation Now - Kerpow - to uber-max. And beyond. I want radical.

CLIENT:But it's just panty pads.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Hygiene products are only apolitical because no one's politicised them. Until now. Remember our anti-swearing campaign? Bollocks to Bad Language. We need something like that but with more balls. Big huge bullock's bollocks; that keep dropping into your face, no matter how often you brush them away. Run with me here, how about Che Guevara clutching an AK47... and a panty pad?

BROWN-NOSE:
Value-added integration of icon with product, ultra unter-subliminal.

CLIENT:
Well, as long as it isn't something bizarre like a monkey playing drums.

AD-MAN:
That was one of ours.

BROWN-NOSE:
A classic re-branding through the juxtaposition of surreal imagery and product.

AD-MAN:
And it wasn't a monkey, it was -

CLIENT:
A gorilla?

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
No, Phil Collins. He was taking way too much monkey gland back in the 80s.

AD-MAN:
Why do you think Genesis split?

CLIENT:
Musical differences?

AD-MAN:
Arguments over the fruit bowl.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Anyway, let's refocus this product around men, in the seven-figure income bracket.

CLIENT:
But men don't buy panty pads.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Exactly. We'll make them feel guilty for not caring enough to buy them.

BROWN-NOSE:
Brilliant. Emotional leverage. Win-win.

AD-MEN:
We're going to need some robots.

BROWN-NOSE:
Male or female?

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Immaterial, they'll be wearing monkey suits. And give Phil a call. See if he's free this weekend.

CLIENT EXITS AS THE TRIO IMITATE THE DRUMMING-GORILLA.

Feels like it could do with tightening up a little bit. It feels a little unfocussed at the moment - I think you need to get panty pads (is there are reason you don't say sanitary towels? - just curious)in at the start and stick with it. I like that it comes back to the Phil Collins monkey (though not totally convinced by Phil Collins taking too much monkey gland), but could you begin with the Phil Collins discussion, then go off into some over-the-top ideas about how panty-pads could be politicised - I think there's a lot of mileage in that and you could push it quite far. Do you remember the tampon adverts that had a male voiceover (for no apparent reason)? Perhaps it would be useful to refer to that then go much, much, further.

Not sure you need the baby there, either.

Sorry, that seems like a lot of criticism! It's not meant to be, it's a good idea for a sketch and some of the dialogue in here is absolutely brilliant. Really nice language.

Yep, it was written to a brief and they wanted an appearance of the Baby MD so will cut it out but agree and appreciate what you said. Will have a mull.

I thought panty pad sounded nicer in the repetition and possibly odder than sanitary towel but may revisit it if it's interfering.

I'm thinking of editing out the start (again, it's a legacy of the brief I was given) and begin around:

CREATIVE DIRECTOR:
Hi, I'm Cat. Let's take your product to the boardroom and rebrand that bitch 'til they itch.

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EDIT: Just reread and think I'll most likely open at the CUT TO: Boardroom

Quote: SlagA @ March 24 2010, 2:23 PM GMT

I thought panty pad sounded nicer in the repetition and possibly odder than sanitary towel but may revisit it if it's interfering.

View original

I wouldn't say it was interfering, I just wondered if it was a deliberate Americanism. I don't think it actually gets in the way or anything, though!

I thought that the creative director's characterisation was the best part of this sketch. Great imaginative lines, nice. If anything, there wasn't enough of her IMO.

It's very cleverly written.
And by that I don't mean that it's not funny.
Good stuff.

This is a great sketch with some excellent lines. The Creative Director is excellent coupled with the brown nose. They work really well together. It does kinda remind me of the Orange adverts, but yours stands well in its own right.

I would lose the Baby MD bit, that didn't add anything to the sketch. Otherwise great

Cheers guys. Your comments show that the original included elements that were diluting the essence. Have removed them.

Much better for the edit.

Much better. Just a thought...if you can think of any really revolting slogans, that might be a nice gag.

Cheers all.

Will think up some slogans. Cheers sglen.