I'd Like To Arrange A Funeral

Telephone conversation with a funeral directors.

Marcus
Good morning "We Do Everything...

Mrs Jackson
Hi yes -

Marcus
But bring them back" Funeral directors. Your speaking to Marcus, how can I help?

Mrs Jackson
Hi yes, I'd like to arrange a funeral for my son.

Marcus
Ooh. A funeral. We can do that. What day suits?

Mrs Jackson
Well, Saturday was his favourite day so we'll go for that.

Marcus
No problem (writing) Sat..ur..day. Now, what's your favourite colour?

Mrs Jackson
I'm sorry?

Marcus
Your favourite colour?

Mrs Jackson
Erm. I don't know. Black.

Marcus
Black it is. And cake, what about cake?

Mrs Jackson
Erm. I'm not sure I like the sound of cake.

Marcus
Ahh come on everyone loves cake. How about Cheesecake?

Mrs Jackson
Erm. Yes. That'll be fine.

Marcus
Okay. Brilliant. Now what about banners? Anything in particular you want written on them?

Mrs Jackson
Written on them?

Marcus
Yea, you know. All the best. Congratulations. Have a good one. You're way too old for anyone to care now but lets celebrate anyway!

Mrs Jackson
I'm sorry?

Marcus
Yea, we had someone put that on a banner just last week. Bloody hilarious, and so true.

Mrs Jackson
All the best will be fine, thanks.

Marcus
Excellent. Good choice. Last but not least, balloons?

Mrs Jackson
Balloons? Listen I'm trying to organise a funeral not a bloody birthday party.

Marcus
Ahh. I've picked up the birthday party questionairre book. We do birthday parties and weddings now you see. (pause) Now, let me just grab the funeral questionairre book.

Ruffles around for a book.

Marcus
Sorry to keep you Mrs. Jackson. I'm terribly sorry for the misunderstanding.

Mrs Jackson
It's okay.

Marcus
Now. You said this is for your son, is that correct?

Mrs Jackson
Yes.

Marcus
Okay. Now. What was his favourite colour?

END

Marcus
But bring them back" Funeral directors. Your speaking to Marcus, how can I help?

Quote: EllieJP @ March 23 2010, 4:51 PM GMT

Marcus
But bring them back" Funeral directors. Your speaking to Marcus, how can I help?

View original

Ellie has never commented on one of my sketches.

Craig, I liked this - nice!

That is crackerjack and such a nice answer back.

Lovely character interplay.

Quote: bigfella @ March 24 2010, 10:58 AM GMT

Ellie has never commented on one of my sketches.

View original

Next one I will try.

Neat little phonecall sketch Craig.

Really liked this Craig. Just wondered if you could have laid it on a bit thicker about how sorry Marcus was to have picked up the wrong book.

Thanks all! Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Kasm. Not sure what effect laying it on thicker would have or even where to go with it? you got any suggestions?

It's only a minor tweak:

Mrs Jackson
Balloons? Listen I'm trying to organise a funeral not a bloody birthday party! (sobs)

Marcus
Oh my God... I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I must have picked up the birthday party questionairre by mistake. We do birthday parties and weddings now you see. (pause as he becomes more sombre) Now, let me just find the funeral questionairre book.

Ruffles around for a book.

Marcus
Ehem. Now, I'll just try again, if that's all right with you?

Mrs Jackson (recovering)
Okay... no harm done. I must admit - I was a bit taken aback.

Marcus
Thank you. Now. You said this is for your son, is that correct?

etc

It would just slow up the middle and make it seem as if Marcus wasn't actually such a tool - until he starts off again, of course.

Only my opinion though. Feel free to ignore it.

Definitely one of the better phone call sketches I've seen here (why are there so many?). A nice circular finish, neat-o.

Very nice idea. I liked it a lot. If it was me I might just include the cake and banner lines again at the end to show clearly that its the exact same process, but that could be just me.

Nice one Craigy.

Might be funnier set in an India call centre.

Thanks Adam. Very humbled!

Otter - spot on! I think I will add on the other questions at the end - I was in two minds about that before I posted, you noticing it just confirms I should. Cheers matey.

billwill - theres another sketch there - and I'm on it!

Cheers all - sorry to reply so late

Good sketch, nicely paced.
I don't have anything to add to the previous suggestions Critiquewise.

Quote: EllieJP @ March 23 2010, 5:51 PM BST

Marcus
But bring them back" Funeral directors. Your speaking to Marcus, how can I help?

View original

Yeah, that line in particular was standout very very funny.