A BOSS IS HAVING A MEETING WITH TWO OF HIS STAFF.
BOSS:
Ok Alan, Geoff, I'd rather avoid going to HR If possible, so I thought I'd get you two guys together & see if we can't thrash this thing out. Now Alan, you seem to have a bit of a problem with Geoff.
ALAN:
Well as a matter of fact I do to be quite honest.
BOSS:
So what is it this time? Encroaching on your desk space again? Not answering his phone?
ALAN:
Both those things, but the main problem I have, and have always had is that Geoff is a Zombie.
BOSS:
Zombie?
GEOFF:
Uuuurgh
BOSS:
Don't worry Geoff you can have your say in a minute. Alan What do you mean Zombie?
ALAN:
I mean that he is one of the undead, what do you think I mean?
BOSS:
It's the funny ties he wears Isn't it?
ALAN:
There is that, but it's mainly the way he looks all green & bit's of him keep dropping off on the keyboard
BOSS:
Oh come on that happens to us all. Geoffs just a plodder that's all, he merely lacks every single social skill.
GEOFF:
Uuuurgh!
ALAN:
He ate Maureen's Brain for crying out loud!
BOSS:
Well she shouldn't have cried out loud should she.
That is a surefire way to startle a Zombie.
ALAN:
Ah Hah!
BOSS:
What?
ALAN:
So you admit that he's a Zombie?
BOSS:
Shhh! You can't call them that anymore. But I'll admit that he is
what we like to call Humanly challenged.
ALAN:
Look I'm not trying to rock the boat or anything. I know you've got guidelines about who you need to employ. I'm not asking you to get rid of Geoff or anything.
GEOFF:
Uuuurgh.
BOSS:
Come on Geoff you scamp, that's my arm behave, eat your own.
ALAN:
I just wanted to be moved to another desk.
BOSS:
Ok I'll move you next to Barry.
ALAN:
But he's a Werewolf.
BOSS:
Not all the time! Jeez! There's no pleasing you is there.
ALAN:
Can you move me to Desk next to a Human if it's not too much to ask.
BOSS:
That might be a bit of a problem, most of the more Human members of staff, well the ones that haven't resigned, seem to have either been savaged or drained of life in some way.
ALAN:
Yes I've noticed that. You don't think that we should maybe think of running away?
BOSS:
Extremely quickly and never look back? I would do but it's year end & you know what it's like.
ALAN:
Bloody year end.
BOSS:
Your missus works in HR doesn't she? Maybe we could see if there's a spare desk in her office, that would be perfect wouldn't it?
GEOFF:
Uuuuurgh
ALAN:
Tell you what, I think Geoff's right. Why don't we move Barry to my desk and I'll go & sit opposite that Vampire who killed Kevin.
BOSS:
Oh the new chap, yes he seems quite nice.
