British Comedy Guide

Chocolate Factory Sketch

Here's the revised version of a rough sketch I posted up yesterday.

Int. Boardroom - Afternoon

Mr Reynolds is sat at a round table with Jenny and Roger. A large sign across the wall bears the logo of 'Entwhistle Chocolates'. A tray of chocolates are sat on the table.

Mr Reynolds: Right, I'm glad that you could both make it. Now, we are very proud of the quality of our chocolates, but it saddens me to say that there has been another contamination breach today.

Roger: Well, Mr Reynolds, may I just say that ever since the 'heron' incident the quality department have been putting procedures in place so that contamination cannot happen again.

Jenny: He's quite right. The staff are now armed with a machete and a sub machine gun to prevent it.

Mr Reynolds: Oh really?! Well then, I suppose you won't mind tasting these.

Mr Reynolds pushes the tray of chocolates forward. Jenny and Roger pick up some chocolates and start eating them. They both spit them out.

Jenny: Ugggghhhh. That's disgusting. It tastes like...well...It tastes like a portrayal of existentialism.

Roger: You're right. It does and that surely means...no...surely not?!

Mr Reynolds goes over to a previously unseen corner of the room where a large sheet is covering something. He unveils a mime artist who is splattered with chocolate. The mime starts performing mime. Jenny and Roger both have their heads in their hands.

Jenny: Oh. My. God.

Roger: I've never been so embarrased in my whole life.

Jenny: It's all my fault. I thought I could smell some street theatre down by the canteen earlier, but I ignored it. Through pure arrogance, I ignored it.

Mr Reynolds: I don't care whose fault it is. The main thing is that we act quick. Hopefully this is an isolated case, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's more in the skirting board.

Roger: Right, I'll get on to the pest control people. Get some industrial size mime traps around the factory.

Jenny: Ok, what about this one here?

Mr Reynolds: I'll take care of him.

Mr Reynolds pulls a revolver out of his pocket and shoots the mime. The mime performs a magnificent portrayal of death and then collapses on the floor.

Roger: It's a beautiful art isn't it.

Good stuff Winterlight!

Quote: Winterlight @ October 20, 2007, 1:54 PM

Mr Reynolds pulls a revolver out of his pocket and shoots the mime. The mime performs a magnificent portrayal of death and then collapses on the floor.

That made me Laughing out loud

I like the idea of being infested with mimes but it being set in a chocolate factory seems to be throwing me off, am I missing something?

('Chocolate factory' always makes me think of that Adam Buxton comedy 'Last Chancers' "Chocolate Factory? Doesn't that mean your arse?")

:D

Well here's my latest version. The element of surprise has obviously been diluted for readers somewhat by this point, but I think this is how I'm going to keep it.

Int. Boardroom – Afternoon

Mr Reynolds is sat at a round table with Roger. A large sign across the wall bears the logo of ‘Entwhistle Cheese’.

Mr Reynolds: Right, I’m glad that you could make it, Roger. Now, we are very proud of the quality of our cheese, but it saddens me to say that vermin have again breached our production line

Roger: Oh God no!

Mr Reynolds: Yes and its that brand of vermin that strikes fear into the heart of all cheese factorys.

Roger: Surely it can’t be the...the m-word?

Mr Reynolds goes over to a previously unseen corner of the room where a large sheet is covering something.

Mr Reynolds: We caught this one scurrying about near the swiss cheese line.

He unveils a mime artist. The mime starts performing mime. Roger has his head in his hands.

Roger: Oh. My. God. I don’t see how this could have happened.

Mr Reynolds: For now that doesn’t matter. The main thing is that we act quick. Where there’s one there’s usually a dozen.

Roger: Right, I’ll get on to the pest control people. Get some industrial size mime traps around the factory. (Points at the mime) What about this one?

Mr Reynolds: I’ll take care of him.

Mr Reynolds pulls a revolver out of his pocket and shoots the mime. The mime performs a magnificent portrayal of death and then collapses on the floor.

Roger: It’s a beautiful art isn’t it.

© Ben Ricketts 2007

Yeah I like this version. I think this is the type of sketch that'll look better performed, I actually think it needs to be more silly, but that can only be achieved by the performances.

I liked the first one better

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