This is the first few scenes of a comedy film I've just begun writing. Basically, the story is that the protagonist Harry and his student love Adriana wake up 1000 years into the future after an earthquake and discover that the future is essentially a slightly parallel version of 1940 Russia, due to Civilisation stagnating to nothing, and then progressing in a similar manner as it did prior to today's world. Events play out and Harry as a history professor knows what will happen, so he ends up predicting the future. Parallel Hitler discovers Harry, and uses him to win the war, but Harry then overthrows him, get's the girl and ends up as Lord Dictator. Happy ever after. Basically that's the gist, think 'Sleeper' meets 'Inglorious Basterds'. The plot came about because of a not particularly funny joke I came up with about Stalin offering Trotsky a drink and asking if he wanted ice in it. Anyway, here's the first few scenes.
int. Lecture room
HARRY PRICE IS SITTING AT HIS DESK IN A WORLD OF HIS OWN, APPARENTLY MARKING SOME PAPERS. IN FRONT OF HIS DESK ARE TWO STUDENTS, ONE MALE THE OTHER FEMALE, SEEMINGLY WAITING FOR HIM TO DO SOMETHING
HARRY PRICE V/O
There she is, the woman of my dreams, standing right in front of me wearing nothing but her clothes, naked from the waist up to the bellybutton. Oh how I adore you Adriana. How I love you so.
ADRIANA
Mr Price? Mr Price? Sir?
HARRY PRICE
Oh, I'm sorry Adriana, I was miles away.
ADRIANA
Have I done well?
HARRY PRICE
Yes, yes. Full marks again.
ADRIANA
Oh, how wonderful, you're such a good teacher.
HARRY PRICE
You really think so?
ADRIANA
I really do.
UNNAMED STUDENT
What about me? What did I get?
HARRY PRICE
You? Not as good I'm afraid.
UNNAMED STUDENT
Not as good? How is that possible? How can she get better marks than me?
HARRY PRICE V/O
Because she's a Goddess and you're just a mere mortal.
HARRY PRICE
Because she's cleverer than you are.
UNNAMED STUDENT
I know she is, that's why I copied her!
HARRY PRICE
You cheated? I will not tolerate cheating.
HARRY PRICE V/O
I wonder if my wife would.
UNNAMED STUDENT
Oh don't worry, I'm going. This is complete bollocks.
STUDENT COLLECTS HIS STUFF AND LEAVES
HARRY PRICE
Yeah, that's right, leave! And don't you come back here again.... before our lecture tomorrow.
ADRIANA
How is it that he got less marks than me Mr Price?
HARRY PRICE
His handwriting was, erm, very poor.
cut to:
int. university corridor
HARRY IS WALKING EXPRESSIONLESS DOWN A TYPICAL BUSY UNIVERSITY CORRIDOR, WITH STUDENTS RUSHING TO THEIR NEXT LECTURE
HARRY PRICE V/O
Why did I ever become a history Professor? I had dreams once. When I was ten I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer, but my mum never got round to replacing my armbands. I never forgave her for that. Now I'm a dried up has-been, just like the people I study. Look at these students, they're all be-nows. Running around with such vigor and youthfulness, such spunk. Wo art my spunk? When will I be a be-now again?
cut to:
int. bedroom
HARRY IS IN BED WHILE THE ALARM BEEPS LOUDLY, HE TOSSES AND TURNS, COVERING HIS HEAD WITH PILLOWS WHILE HIS WIFE IS DOWNSTAIRS MAKING HIM BREAKFAST
Mrs. PRICE
(Screaming)
Harry! Harry! For God's sake Harry,it's six thirty in the morning. Stop being so lazy!
HARRY GROANS AS HE HEARS FOOTSTEPS. MRS ALLEN ENTERS AND SWITCHES THE ALARM OFF
MRS. PRICE
Did you not hear me calling you?
HARRY PRICE
The alarm, it was too loud.
MRS. PRICE
Why didn't you switch it off?
HARRY PRICE
I forgot. Sorry.
MRS. PRICE
It's time to get up, you don't want to be late for class.
HARRY PRICE
No, of course not.
HARRY GETS OUT OF BED AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM
MRS. PRICE
Your toast is waiting for you on the table, two slices as always. It'll get cold if you don't hurry up.
HARRY BEGINS TO WASH HIS FACE
HARRY PRICE
(speech drowned out by splashing)
Have we got any marmalade?
MRS. PRICE
What?
HARRY PRICE
(Semi-Shouting)
I said, have we got any marmalade?
MRS. PRICE
No. We have jam.
HARRY PRICE
I don't like jam, I like marmalade.
MRS. PRICE
How can you dislike jam? Everyone likes jam.
HARRY PRICE
I don't know, I've never really thought about it before.
HARRY FINISHES WASHING AND EXITS THE BATHROOM, THE BED IS NOW ALL MADE AND HIS CLOTHES HAVE ALL BEEN PICKED OUT AND ARE LYING IN WAIT FOR HIM. HE PICKS UP THE SHIRT AND EXAMINES IT
HARRY PRICE
I don't like this shirt.
MRS. PRICE
Don't be silly, it's nice on you. It sits lovely with the jeans.
MRS. PRICE EXITS THE BEDROOM. HARRY PICKS UP THE JEANS AND EXAMINES THEM.
HARRY PRICE
I don't like the jeans either.
CUT TO:
INT. HARRY'S CAR
HARRY IS IN HIS CAR DRIVING TO WORK AS HE LISTENS TO A PHONE-IN SHOW ON THE RADIO
CALLER 1
I'm saying immigration in this country is a joke, it's a free for all. We're overrun with foreigners.
CALLER 2
So you want to be more like other foreign countries?
CALLER 1
Yes.
CALLER 2
You want us to base our immigration policy on North Korea and Iran.
CALLER 1
They don't take any crap, they take no prisoners.
CALLER 2
I think you'll find they do.
presenter
Okay, we'll have to leave it there fellas.
HARRY TURNS OFF THE RADIO
HARRY PRICE
On the plus side, at least they don't have phone-ins in Iran.