Quote: Marc P @ March 8 2010, 11:49 AM GMTYes. If I had the clip as a file I would edit it and show you. CUt out the persiflage is the way to go.
That's because most of Jeremy Spicer is ad-libbed so all the persiflage is down to me trying to think on my feet. The key is to do all the ad-libbing in the writing process and then cut down the build up so you can get to the gag quicker. I'm doing that on Back to Class and Jeremy Spicer.
Quote: James Cotter @ March 8 2010, 11:52 AM GMTThe key is to do all the ad-libbing in the writing process.
Cheers James 
Quote: Marc P @ March 8 2010, 11:53 AM GMTCheers James
Yeah I know you know that but I never really did that because the way my projects are shot.
Oh, James...
Quote: Leevil @ March 8 2010, 12:01 PM GMTOh, James...
What have I done now?
Okay, James: here is the thing. And I'm going to be honest, because I think you deserve it.
THAT WAS JUST AWFUL AND YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY THINK OTHERWISE.
But, you now what? Im going to say something now that might surprise you. You should stick at it. Because what I see in you is someone who has a will and a work ethic to improve themsevles.
Now? No, absolutely not, it was beyond dreadful.
The future? Maybe. But it's up to you to work and work and work.
Quote: jim field @ March 8 2010, 2:58 PM GMTOkay, James: here is the thing. And I'm going to be honest, because I think you deserve it.
THAT WAS JUST AWFUL AND YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY THINK OTHERWISE.
But, you now what? Im going to say something now that might surprise you. You should stick at it. Because what I see in you is someone who has a will and a work ethic to improve themsevles.
Now? No, absolutely not, it was beyond dreadful.
The future? Maybe. But it's up to you to work and work and work.
Yes, but why was it awful? Without that information how can James hope to improve himself?
Quote: jim field @ March 8 2010, 2:58 PM GMTOkay, James: here is the thing. And I'm going to be honest, because I think you deserve it.
THAT WAS JUST AWFUL AND YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY THINK OTHERWISE.
But, you now what? Im going to say something now that might surprise you. You should stick at it. Because what I see in you is someone who has a will and a work ethic to improve themsevles.
Now? No, absolutely not, it was beyond dreadful.
The future? Maybe. But it's up to you to work and work and work.
It is a deleted scene so I don't think it amazing but I don't think it's bad either. There's to much exposition but I quite like the gag at the end.
I was just about to post that Bussboy. Here:
The lead performance was wholly unbelievable for reasons of age.
There was no zing to the script.
The script was bloated.
The concept was derivative.
I could go on, but I think most of it has been said. James knows my Idea.
To be honest it's not awful.
Just not worth making all this silly 'never before seen' hoo-ha.
The truth is, and it's been said a billion times before, this character is far too close too Partridge/Brent to ever be more than a fan-piece.
It won't advance your career because it's not even the tiniest bit original.
You need to move on from it - something TOTALLY different.
You have talent, you certailnly have perseverence.
Now you just need to grow a pair of ears.
Keep at it.
Quote: jim field @ March 8 2010, 3:15 PM GMTI was just about to post that Bussboy. Here:
The lead performance was wholly unbelievable for reasons of age.
There was no zing to the script.
The script was bloated.
The concept was derivative.
I could go on, but I think most of it has been said. James knows my Idea.
See, now that's more like it. Up the 'zing' Cotter!
Quote: jim field @ March 8 2010, 3:15 PM GMTI was just about to post that Bussboy. Here:
The lead performance was wholly unbelievable for reasons of age.
There was no zing to the script.
The script was bloated.
The concept was derivative.
I could go on, but I think most of it has been said. James knows my Idea.
The age thing has already been explained many times so I won't go into that again.
I didn't want zing as it's not that type of piece.
The whole scene was ad-libbed as you can clearly tell and I've already said that.
And the concept is not derivative I've never seen it done before. Some one who's has had a knock back and he's very bitter about it but he has still got the time and the talent to do something about it. The difference between Partridge, Brent, Hancock and Fawlty is there all middle-aged wash up losers Jeremy isn't, Jeremy is just a cocky young bloke who's been to university and thinks he's God's gift to broadcasting and he is talented but he made one mistake and the doors seem to have shut for him and he can see what he'll turn into and he tries to fight that. He's self-loathing about his own failures but he can't take criticism and he can't take failure.
Tell a lie I have seen this before...
Okay, sure, he is younger than them. Okay. But he is being played as if he WAS middle aged.
Take that character and re-write him in the way you just described.
Quote: jim field @ March 8 2010, 3:32 PM GMTOkay, sure, he is younger than them. Okay. But he is being played as if he WAS middle aged.
Take that character and re-write him in the way you just described.
The character has always been like that since the beginning and I have detailed biography of him but it's getting that into the script with out it looking like I'm shoehorning it in.
What do you want to achieve from all of this James?