If I was Prime Minister... Page 3
I'd abolish elections.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ February 26 2010, 11:51 AM GMTBring back hats.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!
This week I applied for a job as an investigator (no kidding, an actual investigator). It is mostly background checks and interviews, but I have already got my wardrobe figured out. Black suit, white shirt, narrow black tie and a black fedora. I might even grow a mustache.
And one day I will take off my coat and, God willing, I will be wearing a shoulder holster.
That's what I would do if I were PM I would make shoulder holsters legal.
Rid the world of sweaty yellow armpit stains.
Quote: deckard @ February 28 2010, 12:46 AM GMTI might even grow a mustache.
Quote: deckard @ February 28 2010, 12:46 AM GMTOh yes, oh yes, oh yes!
This week I applied for a job as an investigator (no kidding, an actual investigator). It is mostly background checks and interviews, but I have already got my wardrobe figured out. Black suit, white shirt, narrow black tie and a black fedora. I might even grow a mustache.
And one day I will take off my coat and, God willing, I will be wearing a shoulder holster.
You just need a back story, I'm thinking the classic "My family was killed in a fire started by a murderous peadofile"
Or go down th funny detective route and whenever refering to your girlfriend / wife just put Mrs infront of her name and turn round before leaving a room to ask another question.
Quote: billwill @ February 26 2010, 1:51 PM GMTDig a big (6-lanes each way) motorway tunnel from Barnet to Croydon.
This. Would. Be. Awesome.
I would make Tommy Cooper's birthday a national holiday, all the MPs in parliament would have to wear Fezes. And I would enforce a 'packed lunch box' rule where MPs cannot claim expenses, they would have to eat out of their own plastic lunchbox; with Superman pictures and stuff on them, The A-Team etc.
Quote: James Turner @ February 28 2010, 5:40 PM GMTI would make Tommy Cooper's birthday a national holiday, all the MPs in parliament would have to wear Fezes. And I would enforce a 'packed lunch box' rule where MPs cannot claim expenses, they would have to eat out of their own plastic lunchbox; with Superman pictures and stuff on them, The A-Team etc.
Oh yeah, that sort of thing would be a good idea.
Abolish all expenses for a London home, create a 500 bed dormitory for the MPs in say Battersea and give them each a bicycle to get from the Houses of Parliament to the dormitory and to include having to cross the Thames. Allow them to go by Bus instead, but NO to taxis.
Build a 140ft Solid Gold Statue of myself in each Major UK City.
Just the obvious, really. Legalise drugs and prostitution. Sorted.
Quote: john lucas 101 @ March 1 2010, 2:05 PM GMTJust the obvious, really. Legalise drugs and prostitution. Sorted.
Isn't half the fun that they're illegal?
Quote: chipolata @ March 1 2010, 2:23 PM GMTIsn't half the fun that they're illegal?
Yes. And I mean, no.
Quote: Gavin @ March 1 2010, 9:48 AM GMTBuild a 140ft Solid Gold Statue of myself in each Major UK City.
But they'd be none in Wales then 
Quote: billwill @ February 26 2010, 1:51 PM GMTDig a big (6-lanes each way) motorway tunnel from Barnet to Croydon.
Quote: PhQnix @ February 28 2010, 5:37 PM GMTThis. Would. Be. Awesome.
Only if the construction work involved the necessary levelling of both Barnet and Croydon... or there were no exits at those two places.
Quote: Chappers @ February 28 2010, 12:43 AM GMTI'd abolish erections.
A Harriet Harman fan?